Extraordinary Machine
by EbonyLuna36
Summary: A child prodigy who transfers from home-schooled, to Forks High, as a Junior at fourteen years, meets Jasper Hale. Because we can never love Jazz enough- JW/Oc E/A. Thanks, Luna. Songs are property of Fiona Apple. Mature for violence. -x-J-x-
1. Extraordinary Machine

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_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, I will get famous by writing my own novel one day. I am making no money with this, only my own enjoyment._

_Author: Well...I have an obsession with Jasper Whitlock. An unhealthy one, perhaps, but I wouldn't change my deep love for him for the world. This is a Jasper/Oc fanfiction, which I will try my hardest to keep clean, besides a little language now and then. The songs in this story are by Fiona Apple, a favorite artist of mine (Ebony's)._

_In this story, the Cullens have only been in Forks for one year, Alice and Edward are together, Jasper is alone, and Bella doesn't exist. See- I only tweaked the Twilight universe.....sarcasm, folks..... Due to the year change, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett, are Juniors, while Edward and Alice are Sophomores.  
_

_  
Luna is my beta, in the sense she will be overlooking my work, glaring and prodding me, when necessary._

_  
Enjoy?_

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Chapter One: Extraordinary Machine

_x  
_

_-x-I certainly haven't been spreading myself around-x-_

_x  
_

Me and Forks had a bittersweet relationship. I loved it, but somehow hated it all in one, like some twisted oxymoron. I loved the rain, I loved the green, I loved the way the sun never shined- I was more of a night person myself. Yet I disliked the people. The people who had looked upon me as such an outcast, and that to most I didn't even exist! Three good things to one horrible one, yet the latter overpowered any good I ever hoped to see in it.

My mother, Kelly, was a nervous woman. Always afraid of everything, ever since my fathers untimely death by a drunk driver, mere months after my birth. Her normal acute paranoia combined with a mothers sense of defensiveness towards her young, was overbearing, and caused me grief. I was home schooled from birth. My mother originally taught History and Literature at University of Washington, so she felt herself more than capable to teach her only daughter, and teach me she did!

I was taught at a level high above what other children my age were learning. I was taught etiquette my mother believed acceptable, respect to my elders. The only conversation I ever had was with my mother, and that I read in books. Leaving the house was a privilege, and only done in extreme circumstances. I never made a friend in my entire life- no one hardly knew I existed, really.

When money became tight, and my mother had to go back to work in order to keep food on our table, and a roof above our heads, she decided to thrust me back into public school- _me!_ An outcast since birth! Grace Amery- the girl with pale skin _(but _everyone_ in Forks was pale!)_ and dark hair, which made her look all the more sickly. I had no friends, no way to socialize! I didn't know how to make friends, how to react to awkward situations, nothing. I was smarter than most high school students, and yet, was at a sever disadvantage.

My age was a curse. Due to my vast knowledge, and mature mind, I would be a Junior in high school, at fourteen years! _God help me._

I blame my mother, despite my love for her. She should never have kept me home. How did she expect me to survive, now? I didn't know what was socially acceptable.

It was all her fault that I was standing inside this cramped little office, that was much too hot _(I preferred the cold, always)_, and smelled too much like a hospital.

"You're the home schooled one?" The woman behind the counter asked, smiling at me gently, even though her words were biting. I doubt she understood that she was being rude, so I didn't point it out to her.

"Yes. I am she," I replied, moving my bag from my left shoulder to my right.

"Fourteen years old, and in your Junior year. You're practically a prodigy," the woman said, probably attempting to make small talk. I had never made small talk with anyone, except the clerk at the store in town, and the occasional person who knew my mother, which I might meet at said store.

I didn't find her comment deserving of a reply. She didn't speak again. My schedule in hand, I walked out and waited on the school bench, while cars arrived at the school. Cars- a luxury I wouldn't get until I was sixteen. Me 0, my age 1.

_x  
_

_-x- I only travel by foot and by foot it's a slow climb-x-_

_x  
_

The teens exited their warm havens and spoke amongst themselves, throwing myself the occasional glance, and questioning look. I didn't bother to try to introduce myself, they would know why I was here soon enough.

Suddenly, a blond broke away from the crowd, and walked towards me. She had a mildly pretty face, perhaps the other people in this school thought she was beautiful? She had on eye shadow that accentuated her eye color, and her hair pulled back in a pony-tale. Her gloss lips opened;

"Excuse me?"

"You're excused," I murmured, without thinking. Her eyebrow furrowed, and she leaned closer, towering over my tall for my age, but short for hers, five feet four inches. Me 0, my age 2.

"Huh?" She asked, her voice holding a slight nasally quality, perhaps she had a cold. She genuinely hadn't heard me, so I breathed a sigh of to self, bite tongue.

"Nothing, I apologize. Yes?" I asked, struggling to be polite. She was speaking so.. informally... Would she find the way I spoke odd? I spoke the way I was taught- I didn't want to have to change the way I spoke on the first day of school!

"Sorry, but I think you're in the wrong place, here. Are you waiting for somebody?" She asked me, tilting her head like an animal, in confusion. She threw glances to the left and right as if to perhaps find the person I was with- but alas, I was very much alone, in the complete sense of the word.

"No," I replied.

She waited for an explanation, but I simply turned my head as though I was looking at the car entering the lot. It was a Volvo. Nice. Hopefully she would not try to engage me in more conversation. I didn't like speaking with her, much. I wasn't so lucky;

"Then what are you doing here?"

My head grudgingly turned back towards her, and I frowned. _How impolite.  
_

"I go to this school now."

"How old are you?"

I was growing tired of this bantering. Why did she _care?_

"I am approximately five thousand, one hundred and ten." _Days old_, I added silently in my head. I hadn't lied. When provoked, I could be very biting, and tricky, and I would probably rip this poor girl to pieces verbally, without her having a clue, if she didn't leave myself alone.

_x_

_-x- Be kind to me, or treat me mean, I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine-x-_

_x_

Suddenly, she burst out laughing.

"No- _seriously,_" as though this explained her motive.

I, in turn, laughed, but didn't answer. She seemed to glare at me, but I wouldn't trust myself to analyze anyone's facial expressions.

The girl turned away from me and stormed back towards the group she had been speaking with beforehand, and seemed to speak with violent hand gestures, and- oh the _joy!_- a foot stomp. I thought only girls on television, in dramas, did such things. Apparently, I had a lot to learn...

A bell rang, and everyone seemed to enter the school, and I did, myself. Glancing at my schedule, I realized I would be in- building three. Why the school had to be different than every other school in the world _(well, in all the books I'd ever read about schools)_, I didn't know. Buildings? _Honestly?_ Forks was simply a place where all weird things ventured.

I made my way to my locker _(Thirty-one)_, and got out my books for my morning classes, and made the trek to building three, Advanced Literature. **(Take note, I have no idea what classes are in Junior year at Forks- I mean, come ON)**

I entered the room to find many of the other students, seated already. Apparently this was my- homeroom? What exactly did this entail? Why must I be so ignorant on the subject of public schools? My mother had gone over some things, briefly, the night before, but I had been so shell-shocked that it went out the opposite ear...

I handed a particular pink slip to the man who was going to be teaching this class _(gray sweatshirt, pale skin, graying hair, the usual)._ He glanced it over.

"Fourteen, huh?" Me 0, my age 3. _Curse it!_

I nodded swiftly, mumbling a "Yes, sir."

"Sir?" he rose a gray eyebrow. "I don't think _anyone_ at this school has ever called me_ sir_."

I didn't answer- what did this man expect me to say?

He nodded as though she had read my mind, and stated I introduce myself, and explain the situation. Situation- is that what it is referred to as, as of now?

I turned and glanced at the classroom grimly. The students stared back, waiting for me to speak. They had noticed me and the teacher _(what was his name again? No need, I could call him sir.)_ and I's interaction.

_x_

_-x-Curious, you looking down your nose at me-x-_

_x_

"I am Grace Amery. I was home schooled all my life and have decided to come to public school for my last few years-"

"How old are you?" A boy shouted from the back of the room. I felt like my nerves were on edge- you _never _interrupted someone while they were speaking, how disrespectful!- and who _was_ this guy? Friends with the questioning blond, earlier? Were they all secretly wondering why I was here?

"Fourteen years." I had waited too long, and spat out the response, while thoroughly trying to reign in my glare at the boy.

"Home schooled? By who?" Another asked yes, they were all against me.

"My doctor. I was declared mentally unstable." I said, trying very hard to keep from bursting out laughing. I masked my emotions as best as I could. The class through each other sketchy looks, probably not taking any notice of my lie.

"Lying, Miss Amery? Is that necessary?" Asked the man I shall simply refer to as "Sir".

"I felt so, sir," I said, now looking for an empty seat in which to hide myself from all these prying eyes.

"Well, you can think of just how necessary it was after school for an hour- detention, Miss Amery." I froze.

"Detention?" I had only heard about this from my mother- I was being punished?

"Yes, detention. Please take your seat." I inhaled sharply, struggling to remind myself that this was an adult- physical assault was a crime punishable by law.

I took my seat in the back row next to a boy which most seriously, towered over me. He was built like a body-builder, and my mind invented a picture of him simply breaking me in half. His head of curly hair, and dimpled cheeks made him look younger, though. Not so much older than me. But his eyes held a distinct look of age. Maturity. His skin was a chalky white, and his eyes a strange golden, topaz.

Thank goodness that I woudn't be sitting next to some blond girl like the one from this morning, or one of the rude boys. To the right of the giant, sat another girl. They looked similar, perhaps distantly related? She was blond, and beautiful. Her face was different, it held a sharpness that was distinct in the silent film actresses I had seen. Her eyes held the same look as his, and had the same golden tinge _(definitely, related)._

Suddenly, a book was tossed onto my desk, Mary Shelley's classic, _Frankenstein_. I referred to it as _The Modern Prometheus_, which my mother referred to it as- but I didn't want to seem more mentally unstable than I'm sure everyone else figured I was, so I would call it_ Frankenstein_ if I had to...

"This is the book we are studying- have you ever read it?"

Have I ever _read it_? I _devoured it_- _studied it_, _debated of it_, to my mother. Who could not have read such a masterpiece?

_x_

_-x-But I'm good at being uncomfortable, I can't stop changing all the time-x-_

_x_

I merely nodded. Yes- _read it_ would suffice.

"Good," "Sir" replied, and walked back to the front of the room to begin his lecture.

The information he gave I already knew. It was simply the basics of the book- couldn't we have understood such, without being told? Did all public schools spoon feed their students? Public school wasn't looking so amazing.

The bell rang, and as I gathered my books, leaving behind the copy of _Frankenstein. _The two next to me, the giant and blond, spoke quietly to each other as they gathered their things.

Suddenly, there was a hand stuck in front of my face. I looked at the owner of the hand, and was greeted with the site of a brunette, almost my height, with very straight hair, and a smiling face. I smiled back gently, and juggled the books in my arms as to shake hands with her.

"Amy Sinclair, do you need help to your next class?" Ah, manners! It seems they weren't dead here, after all! Just buried under all the fog and rain! I smiled.

"Grace Amery, and yes, please. Calculus in building six." The girls brow furrowed.

"You're taking Calculus? That's an advanced class! I guess you really are smart, huh?"

I felt a little put out by this- of course. If I wasn't smart, would I be in this entire situation.

"I can find the way there, myself, I'm sure..."

The girls face looked slightly alarmed. "Oh- no, I simply don't go that way. Emmett has Calculus next though, I'm sure he would take you- Emmett?"

And so, I was introduced to the giant, who seemed to have a name... _Note to self, don't call people the names you call them, out loud. They could take offense..._

_x_

_-x- I'll make the most of it-x-_

_x  
_

He looked up, and the blond didn't exit without him, choosing to stand at his side- were they a couple?

"Yes?" he asked, and his voice shocked me, for briefly an instant. It was smoother than the voices I had heard today. A velvety tone, and it appeared to have startled Amy as well. Only the blond seemed unaffected.

"Um.. Grace here, has Calculus, and it's her first day- I guess you know that- but, I don't have Calculus next, Spanish- would, could you walk her?"

I winced at the girls scatterbrained speech. Poor thing, she must be mortified. My mother had never spoken like that- and I'd never seen such babbling on the movies I had watched, seeing as there was cable in our house. Money had been tight.

I felt like such an alien here.

_x_

_-x- I'm an extraordinary machine-x-_

_x_

"Sure, I'll take her," he said, and he threw me a brief smile. He turned to the blond- and I felt Amy's lips near my ear, startling me.

"That's Rosalie Hale, and Emmett Cullen, adopted siblings. They have three other adopted siblings too! Isn't that odd?" I felt ashamed to be gossiping in front of the subjects, and gently stepped away from Amy without giving a reply.

"I'll see you, perhaps in some more classes. Nice to meet you, Amy," I replied, nodding politely, and Emmett walked towards the door, the blond having left sometime during me and Amy's brief comments. I followed dutifully behind Emmett, hoping the rest of my classes were better- or at least the same. It was bearable.

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_Author: There. An introduction to Grace, and her meeting Emmett, and Rosalie, and Amy. Amy is just an OC I created as a middle-woman of sorts. Bella had Jessica her first day, but because of them being a year below Grace, I had to create someone new, and I apologize. I know I hate it when a story has dozens of OC's. The song was called "Extraordinary Machine"._

_I'm so sorry if I ramble during the story about the damnedest things. It's just... me.  
_

_Do review? I simply need them, or I won't want to write._

_-x-Ebony-x-  
_


	2. Oh Well

_Disclaimer: Refer to chapter one._

_Author: Do enjoy this chapter, would you? It would make m__e very happy. I WILL NEVER DO JASPERS POV. Because this story is focusing on MY Oc. You'll just all have to wonder what Jasper's thinking, heh._

_Thank you to my wonderful beta, Luna, and my first reviewer of E.M. (Extraordinary Machine)... Giggaloop.  
_

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_Chapter Two: Oh Well

_x_

_-x-I try to talk sense to myself, but I just won't listen-x-_

_x_

Emmett had to slow his stride for my much shorter legs, and he smiled kindly to me as we walked. I smiled back. He gave me a sense of contentment, something I hadn't felt all day.

"Emmett Cullen," he introduced himself formally, nodding his head (his arms were full of books, just as were mine). I nodded back.

We walked in silence, a welcome change. It was nice how he wasn't bombarding me with questions, and actually giving me room to _breath, (something I felt I hadn't done properly all day. From that stifling office, to the questioning teens, and the horrid teachers, I was being smothered)._

Other students trudged past us as we walked- longer legs, of course. Yet another point for my age. It wasn't raining, but the clouds were swollen with the promise of rain to come, and the entire world seemed shrouded in a dismal gray. But I had Calculus ahead, a favorite of mine. I liked working with numbers, there were never any exceptions- no _"I before E, except after C"_'s. I was confident in my skills, and would be in my own element.

_x_

_-x-My peace and quiet was stolen from me-x-_

_x_

The room was the exact same as the last- square, with beige walls and tiled floors. How had the other students survived such repetitiveness? It was only the second hour of the day, but even I was dreaded the fact that _this_ was what I had to look forward to, for the next two years of my life. The average human life expectancy in the U.S. was sixty to eighty years. If we spent the first, twenty years of our life staring a beige colored walls- we would be permanently damaged for our remaining forty to sixty years of life.

It seemed the people around me were already too damaged to save...

"Thank you, Emmett," I said, and turned towards the teacher, handing him and identical pink slip- only to scowl at yet another thing that repeated. Curse repetition to the deepest pits of hell. I grinned at my own morbidness. This school was already having a bad influence on me...

The man was different than the last, shorter, and plumper, and wore green. A lot of green, a fetish perhaps? Psychological disorder? I had studied psychology very thoroughly, but didn't want to make a diagnosis without another opinion...

Goodness, why couldn't I think _normal_ things? It _didn't matter_. He read the slip quickly, and rose an eyebrow as he appraised me. I didn't like the look he gave me- as though he was underestimating me. That would simply make me work twice as hard, the poor fool.

"I'm Mr. Varner. Introduce yourself?" He asked, motioning to the entire room. They were all seated, and staring at me. I could spot Emmett, sitting in the back once again, this time a blond boy next to him. They had such a beauty about them- yet, there was a strangeness in the proportion.

"My name is Grace Amery. I'm fourteen, and have been home schooled all my life." No lies- I felt that maybe I had improved. _Would they give me a gold star, to note such an achievement?_

The instant I said my age, my eyes spotted the blond from earlier- and the expression on her face caused me to laugh aloud.

Yes, she was under the impression I was in my thousands, was she not? The class stared at me, yes, most definitely questioning my sanity, when the door burst open, and a spiky haired girl strolled into the room, walking with a graceful lope. Her eyes scanned the classroom very quickly, and paused on the two in the back.

She glanced at me, then, and flashed me a smile, her teeth gleaming in the fluorescent light. Her eyes were golden- ah, _another_ Cullen adoptee? How many children had they adopted again? Such an act of kindness. I didn't like children, much- I had never planned on having any of my own, anyway.

"Miss Cullen, I don't believe you are in this class, let alone this _grade_, what are you doing here?" Mr. Varner asked, shooing me to a seat in the back- by Emmett and the blond male. What was the probability that I would end up sitting next to a Cullen, twice in a row? I was in Calculus- but too lazy to actually go through the process of counting and dividing.

"Sorry Mr. Varner- but my family is having a slight emergency, and are leaving school early. I hope this causes no inconvenience?" The girl asked, stunning myself with the sound of her voice. Indescribable, it was, and I would shame myself trying to put it into words.

There was something quite odd about that family- even I, such an outsider myself, could see that.. All adopted, but with the same features. I brushed past Emmett, and just as I was doing the same to the blond- Jasper, he stiffened, significantly. His head snapped up, and he glared at me. I had never in my life been given such a look. His ebony eyes were like black liquid frozen over. Chills ran down my spine, and I instantly turned away, mumbling the appropriate apology.

_x_

_-x-You came upon me as a jerk-x-_

_x_

Emmett placed a hand on his shoulder, and as quickly as the family had been there, they weren't. I was left standing mid-aisle, with goosebumps on my arms, and dread in my stomach. Probably looking like a right freak.

"Is there a problem, Miss Amery?"

I was sharply drawn back to the attention of the room, and all the people witnessing my slight panic attack. I shook my head, fearing my throat was to dry for me to respond properly, and collapsed into my chair. I gripped the plastic wood harshly, till my knuckles grew white.

I had never been greeted with such hatred! I didn't even know the boy- what could cause him to despise me so much on sight? Had I offended him, somehow? Yes. That must be it, I had done something that obviously offended the boy to the core of his being, for him to give me such a glare.

I felt guilty, and went over every single thing I had said before the class, thinking perhaps it was something I had said. But it couldn't have been- I had merely given my name, age, and the reason I was in this school...

_x  
_

_-x-What you did to me made me see myself as something awful-x-_

_x_

But there were too many possibilities of what could have gone wrong- too many loose ends that I would probably never figure out, even with my two years of High School left. It would be best to put it from my mind. Apologize tomorrow, and forget that such a look of hatred could even exist.

I realized that the class had started all around me. I opened my book, and turned to the proper page, that the others were on, and tried my hardest to pay attention. Throwing myself into my work, I focused on the numbers, more than necessary. Rechecking flawless problems, three or four times.

Finally, Mr. Varner informed us that we could have the last ten minutes of class to socialize amongst ourselves. I pulled out a journal, and began to doodle idly, more focused on the hypnotic strokes of the pencil than the image I was drawing.

"Hey- new girl-" Someone called to me, and I felt a twinge of anger at not being called by my given name. I had said it in front of the entire room. Were these peoples attention spans so under developed? I kept my eyes on my paper, as to not look up and possibly say something I would regret.

"Her name is _Grace_-" Someone hissed at him, a girl, I realized.

"I know- _shut up_- hey, Grace?" The first part directed away from me. Did they think I was stupid? That I was deaf? Or maybe a tragic combination of the two.

I glanced up. It was a boy speaking, but the rest of the class had ended up smeared around me, as well, all listening eagerly to our conversation, which I had yet to join.

_x_

_-x-My peace and quiet was stolen from me-x-_

_x_

"May I help you?" I asked. I most likely sounded rude. _Good. They shouldn't speak about me as if I wasn't there._

"Uh- yeah, so... Home schooled, huh?"

I bit the inside of my mouth violently, as to not laugh. I drew blood, but swallowed it quickly. It tasted like salt and water. Nothing but salt and water. I took a deep calming breath before I could open my mouth to answer, with a simple;

"Yes."

I watched the boy squirm under my gaze, and rose an eyebrow, waiting for him to reply.

"Would you like to sit with me at lunch? I mean, me and few of my friends," the boy stammered.

I tried my best to look startled.

"They actually _feed_ you here? Goodness, with the quality I've seen already in this school- I'm doubting the food is worth even inhaling."

They stared. I turned my eyes back to doodling. I realized, startled, that I had drawn a coffin, in black ink, on my paper. Goodness- I was being morbid today, wasn't I? Definitely the lack of oxygen to my brain...

The boy grinned. "I'll take that as a yes."

I couldn't find it in my heart to argue. If the boy was so stupid that he couldn't even understand my sarcasm, there was no use in trying to make him see sense. I would sit alone at lunch, if I could help it. Yes. _Fantastic._ All in two hours, I had made one friend named Amy, offended a beautiful blond boy, learned of a mysterious adopted family, and possibly cause permanent damage to my future at this replica of hell; Forks High.

_x_

_-x-Oh Well-x-_

_x_

* * *

_Author: I hadn't planned the chapter to end there- but as I was typing the very end piece, the next words I was going to type were "Oh well"- and then it hit me- like Jasper hitting a cement wall, or something- that the song was called Oh Well too- so I cut off._

_Sorry._

_Review, do?  
_

_The Song was "Oh Well" by the way._

_-x-Ebony-x-_**  
**


	3. Poem

_Disclaimer: Refer to chapter two, in which you should then refer to chapter one._

_Author: Please, enjoy this. As I start- I have no clue where I'm going with it, I can only hope it ends decently._

_Thank you to my beta Luna- who taught me how to truly commit. To a story. _

_**BECAUSE I FEEL THIS CHAPTER IS SO BAD, YOU'RE GETTING ANOTHER, JUST AFTER IT. TRY TO SUFFER THROUGH IT- IT IS IMPORTANT.**  
_

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* * *

_Chapter Three: Poem

_x_

_-x-When the pawn hits the conflict, he thinks like a king-x-_

_x_

I can't describe the rest of the school day, and be able to accurately portray how dismal it was. I could hardly concentrate on my studies. I was constantly bombarded with students asking me useless questions, and teachers trying to learn my life story. And Jasper. Yes, he was on my mind as well. I had rehearsed what I would say to him. Simply apologize countless of times, and perhaps in the process find out what I had done to be treated so coldly.

I disliked mysteries; and this entire conflict was a mystery to me.

I walked home. My mother was still at work, and I was too young to drive. I had often thought of perhaps going into law once I graduated college- and changing the driving age, to involve maybe a intelligence test. It was unfair that simply due to my age, I should have to suffer. Not that the rest of the world cared.

It barely started to drizzle about halfway through the town, cheering me slightly. I loved the rain. Throwing back my hood, I stuck out my tongue, simply acting my age, and tried to catch a raindrop on my tongue. The drops fell everywhere but, leaving me more than a little miffed.

Our house which had more than satisfied us for the years we had lived in Forks, was a decent one. The University had paid well enough, years ago. It was a two-story home, with white walls and a black roof. Quite plain, but it held more memories for myself. I had spent years of my life without hardly ever leaving this place... I preferred it to the outside world.

_x_

_-x-If you know where to stand, then you know where to land-x-_

_x_

My mothers van was in the drive, she had gone straight home without bothering to pick me up. Or maybe she had gone to the school only to find that I had already left...

She was waiting by the door for me, and I saw her visibly breath a sigh of relief at the sight of me, soaked, but in the same condition I had left in.

"Good afternoon ma'am," I mumbled, only barely remembering to address her with the respect she expected. She nodded in acceptance, and took my coat from my hands, hanging it on the rack by the door.

"Come into the kitchen, I made tea. You can tell me about your day," it was more of a command. I followed.

The steaming mug was nice in my hands, but I really did much prefer the cold. I could smell the mint- my favorite.

I waited for her to sit down, and nod for me to go ahead before I spoke.

"It was... different." I didn't know what affect this sentence would have on her. Would she be She simply nodded.

"What are the subjects that they are teaching you?"

"Calculus, US History, World History, Biology, Advanced Literature, and we have physical education, as well."

Her mother looked flabbergasted, and placed a delicate hand over her mouth in shock. I could see the bones in her wrists prominently.

"That is all? Goodness- we'll have to continue some of your studies at home- at the University we are much more thorough... I should have investigated into this public school before hand. I apologize," she tipped her head slightly, and I tipped mine back, accepting her apology.

"No, it isn't so bad." Lies. But I didn't have a conscience. My mother was a very delicate creature, such as I. If I openly protested too much, she would take me back out of school. Then we would loose our home, and have to live on the streets. I shuddered at such thoughts- I could hardly go to _public school_, what would it be like if I had to _live_ around the public all the time?

Insanity would happen. I would crack like an eggshell- and never before I had thought of such a fitting analogy. My seclusion was possibly the only thing that was keeping me from being a psychopath- I had realized such a thing during the seven hours of my previous penitentiary.

The only interaction I had truly had in fourteen years of life was my mother. With my mother, things were always strict. I had a way to act, things to do, every single moment of the day. If I didn't obey, there was usually a punishment- a skipped meal. When I was younger, I missed lunch so often due to bad behavior in my morning classes, that I couldn't eat it, even when I had behaved. It felt wrong.

"We will continue your studies. You will have to awake an hour or two earlier everyday."

_x_

_-x-Depth is the greatest of height-x-_

_x_

That would mean waking up at four- but things had been worse. I remember waking up four after being up until eleven, still studying. Functioning of five hours of sleep a night had taken it's toll on me, but whatever kept my mother happy, I would do. She had given birth to me after all- I owed her.

"Yes ma'am," I murmured, sipping at my tea, trying to keep my insides all together.

"We'll resume your dancing, literature, psychology, and German. They only teach Spanish- do they not?"

I nodded. I was quite disappointed in that. I was fluent in French, but had just started German months before. My mother was fluent in many languages. Sometimes I wondered how she did it... She was the only women I knew smarter than myself.

"Good. Go wash for dinner. We start after wards. Do you have work?" she asked, taking the empty cup out of my hand- when had I finished?- and rising from the table.

I shook my head.

"I finished at school."

She nodded to this, smiling slightly. She was proud- I could tell. Of what, I wasn't sure. But there was a shine in her eyes that hadn't been there before. Maybe she understood how difficult it had been- how much I had hated it, and was acknowledging my effort.

I stayed seated until she gave me a dismissal, and walked up the stairs into my room, trailing my hand gently upon the smooth oak of the banister.

My room was the first door on the right. The walls were a light green, with oak floors. We had hard-wood floors through the entire house.

The room was in perfect order, not a thing out of place. My lap-top was closed, my bed made- with fresh sheets.

I placed my bag from school at the foot of my bed, and slipped off my shoes and socks. I had my own bathroom, a simple one, with white tiles and floral walls, a shower and toilet and sink. Average. I didn't need anything too luxurious.

I washed my hands twice, feeling a little compulsive tonight. I wanted to rid myself of this day. I wanted to forget it.

I took my hair down from the pony-tail it had been in, and stared at myself long and hard in the mirror. I was tall for my age, and had yet to complete puberty. I had never had a problem with acne. In my house, the only drinks we had were water and tea, and we never had junk food- there was nothing to fill myself with sugar on, so I was unusually thin. Maybe it was all the skipped meals, too. My skin was paler than average maybe.

My nose was... decent... maybe. My hair was longer than average- but always tied back, and a dark, rich brown. And my eyes were an average blue.

I wasn't anything special- except my brain. That was special, supposedly. I believe everyone had the potential to be as smart as I was, they just didn't have the same opportunities. Yes- I was lucky, perhaps. Sometimes, it didn't seem like luck to me.

I wanted friends. Don't make the mistake to think I don't. I didn't want to be _alone_- I wanted to be left alone. I didn't want people to stare as they had today, or ask questions continually. I wanted someone I could have a decent conversation with, someone who would get why I love to read. If I couldn't find anyone like that- I would spend my life alone.

_x_

_-x-So when you go solo, you hold your own hand-x-_

_x_

I stripped, and took a quick shower, scrubbing harder than necessary, but not feeling any pain.

Dressed in the appropriate clothes, I hurried down for dinner. We were having simply salad- but I was more excited for the dressing. Vinegar.

I had a slight obsession with vinegar, but my mother never let it escalate to anything unhealthy. I use to drink straight from the bottle as a child. I loved the burn that would go down my throat, and the heat in my stomach. It was an acquired taste, but amazing.

The vinegar was already on my salad- that was fine, I would come back later after mother was asleep and perhaps have a table spoon or two. I had two glasses of water- eight ounce glasses, I knew. Beads of sweat were lingering on the outside of the glass.

Mother was already seated, her hands folded in her lap as she waited for me. Once we sat, we bowed our heads in a quick prayer, and then began eating.

I ate at mothers pace, as she expected, and only drank when she did. We didn't speak at all, there was nothing to say really. We spent a lot of time like this in silence. I wondered vaguely if her and my father had been this quiet with each other, or if it was perhaps just me. Or maybe it was something that had began after his death.

I finished my salad after she did, and tipped the remaining vinegar that pooled in the bottom of the bowl into my water, drinking the remainder of that as well.

"Come to the studio in ten minutes, understand?" She asked, taking our dishes once we were both finished. I nodded, and went upstairs to wash my hands once more.

The studio was merely the room in our house that had mirrors on every wall and a bar, used for ballet. I dressed in my white tights and leotard, and grabbed my point shoes, and hurried back to my mother, knowing that she moved like a cat- quickly and quietly. She could be dressed and prepared before I even made it up the stairs.

_x_

_-x-And he'll win the whole thing, before he enters the ring-x-_

_x_

As I predicted, she was already waiting, her hair pulled back in a bun, and she glared at me in disapproval.

My eyebrows furrowed- what did I do wrong? _Shoes, check. Tights, check. Leotard, check. Hair in bun, ch-_. Oh. I grabbed the hair tie from my wrist, and bowed my head to put my hair up.

"No breakfast," she said. "You know better. You've come to this room everyday since you were two- and you expect that you can just waltz in here, unprepared, and expect me to waste my time?" She hissed, her eyes narrowed into slits. I stared down at my point-shoes, and waited out her speech.

"I should take away your dinner as well! _Twelve years_."

She wouldn't take away my dinner. She knew I didn't eat lunch. She would never let me go an entire day without eating- that was child abuse, and she knew it, and I knew it. My mother was strict, but she was no child abuser. She loved me to death.

I glanced up at her again, and her voice softened, along with her eyes.

"Go warm up," and she nodded to the bar. I nodded, blinking back tears, and did the routine we always did.

_First position... Demi- plie, elevate, and down. Repeat. _

An hour later, I was properly exhausted, and covered in my own sweat, my hair just beginning to come out from it's bun, when my mother let me go change clothes. As I undid my shoes, she handed me the customary tissue, my toes bled every time I danced. I always danced harder than the time before- how else would I improve?

An hour before midnight, I drug myself up the stairs and to my bedroom, tired beyond belief, but feeling happier after spending some time with my mother. I could still see her shocked face when I told her how at school, we referred to _The Modern Prometheus_ as _Frankenstein_. She was appalled, but chuckled when I burst into laughter at her comical expression.

I drifted off to sleep after setting my alarm early- I would have my remaining lesson in German, tomorrow morning before school.

_x_

_-x-And if you fall, it won't matter-x-_

_x_

**

* * *

**

_Author: I didn't like this chapter. Nope. Not. One. Bit. But I pray that you all did. I know you must have been very confused at some of the things Grace pointed out- but it all matters in the future. It does. Honest._

_Song was "Poem".  
_

_Review. For Jasper. Because I saw the movie, and he was _good_. _

_-x-Ebony-x-_


	4. Criminal

_Disclaimer: Refer to chapter three, in which you will refer to chapter two, in which you will refer to chapter one.  
_

_Author: I'm hoping this chapter is better than the last- I know, you're all upset with me for my horribleness. :[ Jasper is here though- that makes everything better._

_To Luna. Cheers.  
_

_

* * *

_Chapter Four: Criminal

_x_

_-x-I've been a bad bad girl, I've been careless-x-_

_x_

_x_

_The sunlight created little spotlights of gold on the floor of the studio, and I was dancing. Soaring through the air on my toes as though I was light as the air itself, and I felt like I was. I was dressed in green. Green and gray tights. _

_I don't own green and gray tights. I knew this- but it didn't bother me. I danced on. _

_Suddenly- he was there, Jasper Cullen. His arms were folded across his chest, and he was glaring at me. The same glare that had sent shivers up my spine earlier that day at school. I stumbled in the air, as though someone had swtched the gravity back on._

_I came crashing down to the wooden floors, my leg snapping horribly underneath me. It didn't hurt, but I twisted in agony towards it, drawing my limbs to my body. Jasper just continued to glare._

_"You'll never dance again!" He screamed, his voice was like honey, and it cut all the more. Tears streamed down my cheeks._

_He walked closer to me, avoiding the patches of sunlight on the floor until he was in front of me, his eyes that same black I had seen, and still narrowed in hatred._

_"No breakfast for _you_," he hissed, and smiled, showing distorted teeth. His grin widened- until it wasn't even a grin. Just him barring his teeth. I cried out.

* * *

_

I awoke caked in sweat, to the screaming of- not myself, but my alarm clock. Three thirty in the morning.

"Oh goodness," I cried, rolling out of my bed. I rushed into the bathroom where I vomited in the toilet, tears streaming down my cheeks.

Once my stomach was as empty as it was going to get, I threw myself down on the floor to stare at the dark ceiling and cry myself out.

I wasn't a dreamer. Very rarely would I dream, and I almost usually never remembered a thing. That was one of the only nightmares I had ever had in my life- and it was definitely the worst. I had broken my leg. I couldn't dance. Couldn't run.

And Jasper. No breakfast for _you_.

I shuddered, goosebumps all over my body, but sat up and turned on the shower, to cold water. That would calm me down, despite the fact I already felt frozen. I stripped and brushed my teeth, trying to get the sharp taste of bile out of my mouth, before standing in the shower, simply letting the water rush over me. My stomach was still in knots.

I would have to apologize to Jasper today. For I brief moment, I had the irrational fear that maybe he would react the way he had in my dream.

I stepped out of the shower, and dressed quickly. A pair of ordinary blue jeans, white shoes, and a white, long sleeved shirt would suffice. I didn't care to dress special for my second day of penitentiary. It wasn't as if I was trying to impress anyone.

I walked down the stairs. The sun hadn't even rose yet, but the sky was a light gray. Maybe the sun would actually shine today.

I found only on plate at the table, my mother seated at it, already dressed for the day, and suddenly, heard Jasper's voice say again;

No breakfast for _you_.

I shuddered, but sat in the spot without the plate, and waited for my mother to speak.

"Good morning," she murmured, and I gave the normal greeting, as well.

She ate her scrambled eggs, unsalted, and drank her two glasses of water that was with every meal we ate, before clearing the dishes from the table and sitting once again, across from me.

She looked a lot like me, except the eyes. Those I had gotten from my father. My mother had green eyes. But we both shared the dark hair, angular nose, and high cheekbones.

She fired at me rapid questions in German, which I answered in German as well. Whenever I stumbled over my words, or used incorrect pronunciation, she would yell at me in English- me, not being allowed to use my native tongue. It was twice as hard to defend myself in another language, which I felt so insecure about.

We practiced for hours, until it was time for her to leave for work, and myself to go to school.

Glancing out at the sky, I saw that my hopes went unanswered. The sun was hiding now, behind the cursed clouds, and the fog was intenser than usual. Something straight out of an Allen-Poe short story.

I found myself at Forks High in a daze, being unable to remember much about the drive over, except that it was very silent.

I sat down on the same bench that I had been sitting on yesterday, and pulled out a book I had brought for idle times in the day, and tried to engross myself in it. The rest of the world eventually faded out, until someone sat down heavily on the seat next to me, jarring me out of my sublime little world. I closed the book, and turned, expecting more inane questions.

It was blond-who-asks-many-questions. Her jaw was clenched, and she looked angry. I wondered vaguely, whether I had caused that. I couldn't find it in my heart to be sorry though. She was so... irritating. Like sandpaper against raw skin, she grated on me.

I glanced up just to see that silver Volvo pull into the lot- ah, if I could rid myself of this girl, I could apologize to Jasper and end our dispute before the school day even began- but looking at Miss She-Who-Asks-Many-Questions, I could see that I wouldn't be so lucky, as to.

_x_

_-x-And I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against-x-_

_x_

"You were being a little smart ass yesterday," she stated. My eyes widened.

"You're language appalls me. Do you want me to apologize?" I asked, after getting over my initial shock. I had never been cursed at before either- this was _surely_ full of new experiences.

"Yeah- I think I deserve one," she said, and I saw her eyes were dusted with the same color eyeshadow she had been wearing yesterday. She didn't look as pretty up close. Her forehead was a little too large, with eyes to heavy lidded. Her hair was drawn back in another pony-tail, and her bangs were jelled back, and looked hard, like plastic.

I opened my book and went back to reading. She didn't move, but suddenly, coughed.

"Uh- you said you were going to apologize."

As though I needed reminding, but I thanked her for the effort.

"No, I _asked_ if you wanted me to. I never _said_ I would."

Her brown eyes filled with fury, and she stood from the bench, towering over me, her fists clenched. There were rings on her fingers, and they glittered.

"I _tried_ to be nice to you- I really did- and you repay me by being such a _bitch_? I won't take you talking to me like that!" Her hands went to her hips. I glared, and closed my book, sitting it safely in my bag, before standing. She was a good four inches taller than me.

"You shouldn't curse so much. It makes you sound stupid."

"_You shouldn't curse so much, it makes you sound stupid_," she taunted, in a high voice.

"My goodness women- how childish _are _you?" I hissed, stepping forward till me were inches apart. Her fists clenched even harder, knuckles white, and I found mine doing the same thing, unintentionally. Was she going to resort to physical violence? Would I fight back? No- not unless she was killing me.

"I'm the childish one? Me? No- I didn't-"

_x_

_-x-Save me from these deeds, before I get them done-x-_

_x_

Suddenly, there between us, was Alice Cullen. She placed a hand on the other girls shoulder. I stepped back, startled. When had she gotten there? To the left of us was her family, Jasper standing furthest away from myself. I felt embarrassed that he had witnessed such a scene of immaturity on my part, and bowed my head.

"Now, Lacey, there's no need to get so worked up. I'm sure Grace didn't mean what she said."

Au, contraire, I meant every word, but I kept this inside. There was no need to add fuel to the fire- and this girl, Lacey, looked plenty fired up.

"Oh she meant it- stay out of this Cullen, it's between the short freak and I!" She hissed, went to step aside Alice.

"I have no say in this?" I asked innocently. Lacey's eyes narrowed, and I clenched my fists to keep from laughing.

"What do you have to say?" She hissed. I smiled kindly.

"I apologize," and I bowed my head. "Perhaps I was acting childish. What can I say? You bring it out in me.," I finished, smiling.

Lacey looked as though she didn't know what to make of this comment, and giving something between a groan and a shriek, turned and stormed away, kicking up gravel as she went.

I turned to Alice and bowed my head once again, giving her my thanks.

"If you hadn't come along, I might be nothing but a bloody pulp on the ground, Grace Amery," I said, formally introducing myself. Alice grinned widely, and captured my hand. Hers was icy, due to the unnatural cold this town had.

"It was no problem, Lacey gets upset easily. She has such a temper, doesn't she?" Alice was very pretty when she smiled. And when she didn't. Her entire family held that unnatural beauty...

"Yes, but I don't think I helped any."

Alice laughed, the sound like bells, before murmuring a parting. The bell rang a few moments after.

I turned and just barely caught Jasper striding away from me, quickly, and I frowned. My hopes at talking to him before class being ripped apart before my eyes. Oh well, I would have him in class, and we could speak then.

Walking to my locker, I got my books and went to my homeroom, with "Sir".

_x_

_-x-So what would an angel say? The devil wants to know-x-_

_x_

"Miss Amery. You failed to show up for detention yesterday," he said, and I froze in my tracks.

That was just what I _did not _need. How could I have been so stupid as to not remember? Even if yesterday was my first day, and I was thoroughly distracted, that was no excuse for my horrible memory. Something like punishment should have weighed on my memory.

_Now what had I been in trouble for?_

"Miss Amery!" "Sir" snapped. "Explain yourself!"

"I'm _so_ sorry, sir. I had never heard of detentions before yesterday and-"

"Ignorance is no excuse."

"Excuse me, I was speaking-"

"_Excuse me?_"

"Beg pardon?"

There was a vein throbbing dangerously on "Sir"'s temple. Was he having an episode? Did he need medical attention?

"Don't be smart with me!" He yelled, attracting the attention of the rest of the room. They were surely staring at us now, watching the freak of a new girl argue with their teacher. _Their_ teacher- for this man could teach me nothing I didn't already know.

"I thought being smart is what we're _trying_ to do here, sir. With due respect, I apologize for missing my detention. I can serve it at your earliest convenience," I stated as calmly as I could. If I thought yesterday was bad, this was turning out to be the worst day in my existence.

"You're _darn right _you'll serve it- and a _weeks worth_ at that! I don't take mouth from my students! I don't know what you were _taught_- but that isn't the way we do things around here!" He bellowed, spit flying from his lips. I wiped my cheek, disgusted, before gritting my teeth to nod.

My mother would be furious. My second day of school and I had a weeks worth of detentions. _Oh, the joy of public schools!_

"Now get to your seat!" He said, that vein still throbbing, pointing to the back of the room. I went without a word.

Emmett was actually grinning, and vibrating with laughter, and he nodded at me, whether in greeting or respect, it was so far, the best thing that had happened to me all day. I smiled back a little, before taking my seat.

I didn't speak for the entire lesson, and never rose my hand to give an answer to a question that of course, I knew.

This was, so far, my least favorite class.

_x_

_-x-And I want to suffer for my sins-x-_

_x_

* * *

Emmett did not need to escort me to Calculus, so I walked alone. Three people had patted me on the back, for apparently standing up to Mr. -_my goodness, I found out the mans name_!- Wir. Goodness, the irony threatened to choke me. Of course it would rhyme with sir. Of course.

Suddenly, spotting the familiar head of blond hair, I remembered why my stomach had been in knots this morning. Why I had vomited into the toilet. Why I had awoken drenched in sweat. Jasper was in this class.

He was staring down at his desk, Emmett beside him, and they were speaking in quiet tones. Jasper's head came up slowly, and looked directly at me. Thankfully, someone stepped in front of me unsuspectingly, giving me leave to look somewhere else.

Had he looked mad? Were those black eyes filled with hatred again? I prayed not, as I made my determinedly towards Jasper. Emmett leaned back, and stared at us, as I stood directly in front of Jasper.

_x_

_-x-Don't tell me to deny it, I've done wrong, and I want to suffer for my sins-x-_

_x_

"I apologize." I blurted it out, before I could think.

Jasper drew his eyes up again- and this time I got a good look at them. My breath hitched, and my heart raced. Gold. They were gold. Not black. Had a hallucinated? Was there something wrong with me? But I found that due to the change in eye color, I felt much more confident. The nervousness just slipped away. I felt like I was talking to a completely different person than the one I had been dreading.

"For what?" He asked, and I jumped. His voice was just how it had been in my dreams. Except he wasn't yelling- but it had the same tone, and pitch.

Goodness- that was scary.

"For offending you," I murmured.

He just nodded, and other than that he was completely still. It didn't even seem he was breathing.

"Don't worry, Grace. Jasper's always offended by something. He's really just a moody guy," Emmett said, smiling. I turned my eyes to his, and felt a little wary. I hoped that was it, and that I really hadn't done anything. But Jasper hadn't denied it- so I must have done something.

I walked to my desk on the right of Jasper's, and took my seat. Jasper leaned ever so slightly away from me, and whispered something to Emmett. I could merely make out the buzz of his voice, he was speaking so low. Emmett just chuckled and shrugged in response, and Mr. Varner started the lesson.

I sighed in relief, feeling much better than I had all day, even after Emmett had smiled. Knowing that I hadn't made Jasper too angry with me, cheered me greatly, for some reason.

I bent forward over my desk, and began answering the problems on the board furiously, not bothering to recheck them like I had yesterday. I knew they were perfect.

_x_

_-x-And I need to be redeemed-x-_

_x_

* * *

_Author: I adored this one. Did I redeem myself, as well? I need your opinions, really. If you didn't like this one- I'll just cry. Lots of conflict, and it simply came out like that._

_The song is "Criminal".  
_

_Review, or Jasper gets it. Please! For his sake!  
_

_-x-Ebony-x-_**  
**


	5. Red, Red, Red

_Disclaimer: Refer to chapter four, and then to chapter three, in which you will refer to chapter two, in which you will refer to chapter one._

_Author: Well.... I love you people. You're all great. Just keep up the reviews- I've been known to not finish stories, often. _

_Every time I get a review though, I grin like the fool I am underneath all this exterior. I'm only a child, lol. Fourteen- huh, is that number familiar?  
_

_But my beta is smacking me upside the head to keep writing. _

_Speaking of her- you go Luna, the greatest beta.  
_

* * *

Chapter Five: Red, Red, Red

_x_

_-x-I don't understand about complimentary colors-x-_

_x_

At the end of Calculus, I handed in flawless problems, I was very confident in my work, and then sat at my seat, and began drawing again. Adding more detail to the coffin- but this time, a flower. A flower to fight the morbidness. Light to fight the dark, even though I preferred it. I couldn't live with what I _preferred_ anymore, I had to live with what was socially _acceptable_.

Goodness, this school seemed to keep my mind in perpetual pessimism.

"Hey." I glanced up- to see a strange boy, there.

"Hello, may I help you?" I asked, sitting my pencil down, and crossing my ankles, giving him my undivided attention. I saw Jasper's head turn towards us. Okay- this boy didn't have my _undivided_ attention.

"I just saw your... performance today, in homeroom- spectacular. _Really_." I frowned.

"What was spectacular about it, do tell?" I asked. I really couldn't see why everyone thought it was such a big deal. The way Lacey had spoken to me earlier- now if I had done_ that _to Mr. Wir, it would have been something worth talking about, but not in the good way. Using language against an adult! Ha! I could imagine anything but that.

"You were so... witty," the boy said, and- _heaven help me_- he winked. I widened my eyes in the tell tale sign of innocence before replying.

"Do you have something in your eye?" I asked, playing dumb. This boy looked eighteen- with curly dark hair, and dark eyes, and such a hard face. I was fourteen, here. Was he making love to me?**(Take note, she is old fashioned. Earlier in time, the term "making love" meant something along the lines of flirting.)  
**

The boy frowned at my lack of cooperation. "No."

_x_

_-x-But all I can see is red, red, red, red, red now-x-_

_x_

I rose an eyebrow, trying to keep from laughing. The boy wasn't going away though. He simply cast a glance over his shoulder at a group of both sexes, which it seemed the boy had stemmed from. I thought that perhaps he should go back, and never visit.

"I asked you yesterday to sit with me and my friends at lunch- but you never came into the cafeteria. Going anorexic, or something?"

Oh, yes. I hadn't gone to lunch yesterday. I had needed some air- could I be blamed? This school was very suffocating. I had walked out and around the woods which surrounded the school for the lunch period, thanking all ententes that the bell was obnoxiously loud, and I could have heard it miles away.

"Anorexia Nervosa? No. I simply wasn't hungry."

Was this the boy who had been so forward yesterday? I could hardly remember. But I was appalled that after skipping one meal, he would label me with a mental disorder. I never ate lunch- and I wasn't going to start now. It seemed the people who went to this school's minds all jump to the worst possible scenarios. Probably to satisfy their underused imaginations.

He shifted under my gaze, his eyes flickering towards Jasper, and then, someone on my right, who I didn't know.

"Well, are you hungry today?"

"No, thank you." I answered swiftly. Actually, I was starved, do to my lack of breakfast, but the food here hardly looked edible; and if I ate and messed up my schedule, it could take forever to retrain myself not to be hungry at lunchtime, and to be able to withstand my food punishments.

The guy rolled his eyes.

"Come on- just get something small."

"No thank you," I said a little harsher.

"A drink."

"No," I hissed. "And I suggest you leave me alone."

_x_

_-x-If I didn't have to kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill myself for doing it-x-_

_x_

I turned back towards my open journal, and drew more furiously, with harsher lines. The flower grew thorns. Perhaps I had an anger problem, was I bi-polar? No- no racing thoughts. But perhaps I was in need of a good therapist. Or anger management...

"I was just asking. _Freak_," the kid mumbled, and turned his back. I simply stared at his back. _Freak_. That was the second time someone had called me that today. And what was the other insult Lacey had added? _Bitch_. That was it. I felt dirty even thinking it. I rarely used language, even in my head. It was one of the ultimate signs of disrespect. I would lower myself to no ones standards, _here_.

"What is with these people and name calling? And they call me the child," I mumbled angrily.

"I agree." My head snapped up, giving me whiplash, but I kept my widened eyes on Jasper. He wasn't looking at me, but I could tell it was him who spoke. Simply staring at him, my anger seemed to melt away.

I couldn't think of a reply. Curse it! Why did my mind have to go blank at such a moment? I simply nodded. He probably thought I was a fool, or a freak, and it was better to stay quiet than open my mouth and prove that perhaps, I was.

The bell rang, and I gathered my books. Jasper and Emmett were already walking out the doors.

I walked to my third hour class, which was US History. I had studied history thoroughly, especially the US's. We were starting a study on the Civil War, possibly the darkest time in America's history. In my opinion, that is.

The room with the bland beige walls was home to another person who hadn't been there yesterday. Jasper. I blanched at this. Perfect- I had two hours a day in which I could make myself look like a complete fool. I walked to my desk (which was in front- thank the heavens!). Jasper's was in the back, across the room. Hopefully, I woudn't get the chance to mess up again.

We took our seats and the teacher, Ms. Tosh came in. She was middle aged, but overweight, with graying red hair, and watery brown eyes. But she was smart, I suppose. She knew her history well.

_x_

_-x-I've been watching all the time, but I still can't find the tact-x-_

_x_

"Alright- alright, settle down- _Charles, sit this instant!_" I looked and saw the boy who had called me a freak. Ah, _Charles_. Hm. I was now growing to have a distinct aversion for that name. Besides Charlie Chaplin, who I could always call as I just had; Charlie. He was much too funny on screen to call _Charles_ anyway.

"Open your books to page forty-seven," she said strictly. Some in the class groaned- but I stayed silent, and opened my book. Complaining was immature. This was work that we were expected to do, to better ourselves in life. Assignments wouldn't kill us.

"Good- now close them. We won't need them," cheers went up in the room, and I flinched. Goodness, this atmosphere was so informal, how did they expect us to learn? All lessons with my mother were strict unless I was asked my own opinion, or we were discussing something.

"I'd like you to all stand up," we all did," and move to one side of the room. The left if you would be on the side of the Confederacy, and the right if the Union."

I walked to the left, instantly, and found I was walking against the rest of the class, who were rushing to the side of the Union.

The only other Confederate was- _oh, brilliant_- Jasper. I quickly darted to the other side of the room, the Union. This would simply be step one to fitting in better than I had. _Socially acceptable, socially acceptable,_ I chanted in my mind.

"Is there a problem, Grace?"

_Yes, you're calling me by my given name, without leave._

_x_

_-x-Is it just fine, or is it my fault, is it my lack?-x-_

_x__  
_

"No ma'am, I simply picked the wrong side," I groaned after these words. I would end up offending Jasper _again._ Oh, why couldn't I think before I opened my bloody mouth? Ms. Tosh shook her head, her red hair flying every which way.

"Well, that was your mistake. Go back to the other side of the room."

I heard chuckles, and glared at everyone I could spot, uncaring if they were the ones laughing or not.

"Really, ma'am, no disrespect, but I must insist-"

"Nonsense, we can't leave Jasper all alone, can we? And it was your original choice. Mean what you do, and do what you mean."

I kept my hands clenched tight, but walked across the room. I felt very small next to Jasper's towering height, and very, very alone.

_If _one_ more person interrupts me..._

"Now, to our two Rebels, explain your choices."

I stifled another groan. Had I _really_ thought that this day was getting better? Well, it took a sharp turn for the worse. I was being baited with telling my own opinion.

"Ladies first," Jasper murmured, and took a step back. Were it possible, I felt even more alone. But a sudden surge of confidence had my chin raising. I stepped forward slightly, perhaps putting distance between myself and the strange boy behind me, and answered in a clear voice;

"My father was born in Texas."

The silence in the room was pregnant. All the students turned and looked at each other.

"_So_?" ah, it was _Charles_ who spoke. I was growing to hate that boy.

"_So,_ I would have remained loyal to Texas," I said, shrugging. Another girl- who looked a lot like a _female_ version of _Charles_ gave her two cents worth.

"I think that's just prejudiced," she said, her chin raised high. She had a high, flinty voice. Some others murmured in agreement. "I mean- the Rebels didn't believe African Americans were even _people!_"

I shook my head very calmly. Unnaturally calm, and tucked a strand of brown hair behind my ears. I would prove this girl wrong, and take pride in doing it.

"I don't believe that personally, but I would have been furious if the Northerners had come along and declared that what they thought was wrong, was. America was a nation prided on the fact of freedom to due what you pleased, and the North was trying to take that from the South," I said firmly, crossing my arms.

The class was silent- and in the far back, you could hear someone whisper;

"Can I switch sides?"

_x_

_-x-But all I can see is red, red, red, red, red now, and what am I to do?-x-_

_x_

Suddenly, everyone burst into laughter. I could see nothing funny, but smiled anyway. I guess my point must have traveled through the inches of thick skull that each of these children had. The class was so distracted that they wasted the entire hour speaking of their own opinions, and I never got to hear Jasper's reason for being on the side of the Rebels.

I was a little disappointed.

I listened half-heartedly to the conversation, until I saw Jasper standing in front of me. Had he said something? _Did I miss it?_

"I'm sorry, my mind had wandered, did you say something?"

Jasper shook his head, and I breathed a sigh of relief.I closed my journal- that flower had just started to look a little less lethal, and turned my attention to Jasper, who took a seat next to me.

"Why did you move from Texas?" He asked, softly. I looked a little startled. I hadn't expected such a personal question. Jasper read my features well, and soothed me;

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. I'm just feeling a little curious."

I liked the way he worded that last sentence, for some reason, so I answered. There was something charismatic about him, something that simply goaded me to answer.

"I, myself, only lived in Texas for a few months. My dad died in a car accident, and we moved up _here_." I glanced around distastefully at the people which surrounded me. I hardly liked any one of them.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

"Why? Did you hit him?" I asked, smiling slightly to let him know that I was only joking. He smiled a little, and my heart skipped, like a bad CD.

"If I may ask, why were _you_ on the side of the Gray?" I asked, trying to keep the curiosity out of my voice. He grinned though, like he saw straight through me, and leaned back in his chair, to answer.

"I was born in Texas."

I nearly burst out laughing. "You're kidding me!"

He shook his head, the corner of his mouth twitching into an occasional smirk. I continued to laugh. What were the odds that we both would have been born in Texas, but moved to this dismal town of Forks? Sure, he moved here about twelve years after I had- _but_ it was still an odd coincidence.

Now that I thought about it, I could just barely here the southern twang in his voice, more like a drawl. Very similar to my mothers.

The bell rang, and I felt a little twinge of sadness. This was the greatest part of my day, definitely.

"See you in my later classes, perhaps?" I said, smiling, and gathering my books all together in my arms. He nodded, and gave me a last smirk, before leaving the room.

_x_

_-x-I wanna know, is it okay?-x-_

_x_

Suddenly, Amy was at my side.

"Were you talking to _Jasper Hale_?" She asked, eyes wide. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I thought he was a Cullen?"

"Oh- he is, but he and his twin sister Rosalie were both adopted, together. They were Hales."

I nodded. Hale. Free from disease or infirmity. Vigorous. Robust. I knew the dictionary well.

"Are you coming in, to lunch today?" she asked, and I shook my head. No, Lacey and Charles would surely be in there, and perhaps make more comments on the fact that I was so thin. My stomach gurgled, in response to the thought of lunch- food.

Amy laughed at the noise. "Come on, just get a water or something!"

I nodded. Water wouldn't ruin my schedule, I guess... Maybe just take the edge of my hunger. When you were hungry, your taste buds become more sensitized, and your stomach contracted. With water, maybe both of those symptoms would dull down, to perhaps a slight roar. I met Amy by her locker, which was just a few feet away from the cafeteria. I could smell the mixture of foods they had inside the room, and hear the roar of the talking and laughter.

We entered, only long enough to grab me a water bottle, and allow myself to bolt out of the room, before anyone could spot me, and I could get myself in more trouble, and cause more conflict- something I truly could not afford on only my second day...

_x_

_-x-What's happened has happened, what's coming is coming, with a role for me to play-x-_

_x_

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_Author: There. Not my best, but not my worst, no. Thank you all for the reviews! They are really appreciated!_

_The song is "Red, red, red".  
_

_Review once more? Pretty please?_

_-x-Ebony-x-_


	6. Sitting in Limbo

_Disclaimer: Refer to chapter five, then chapter four, then chapter three, then chapter two, then chapter one._

_Author: Thank you for all the support! Much appreciated._

_Here is the latest chapter._

_So much thanks goes to my beta, and my friend, Luna.  
_

_

* * *

_Chapter Six: Sitting in Limbo

_x_

_-x-Sitting in limbo, and I know it won't be long-x-_

_x_

Jasper was in no more of my classes. None of the Cullens- or Hales, were. By the end of the day_, _I was in a much more pleasant mood that what I had started it in. I didn't even mind staying after school for this ridiculous detention. I had disobeyed the rules, hadn't I? It was just like skipping a meal. Without the hunger.

I had gone to the office after I had skipped out on lunch, water bottle in hand, and asked to call my mother and tell her that I would be staying after school for my detention. She would have been on her lunch break by then, so I wasn't interrupting any of her classes.

The phone rang, and I asked to be transferred to my mothers line. I waited as the phone rang a second time, until my mother answered.

"Ms. Amery speaking," she said.

"Mother? It's Grace," I said.

"Grace? Aren't you in school? What's going on?" The edge of panic in her voice was expected, she was a worrier.

"Yes, I am in school. I was calling to inform you I had detention after school for every day this week." I bit my lip, waiting for her response, feeling increasingly nervous.

'You're being punished? Why." Her voice had lost the edge of worry, but now had a slight anger in it. I heard the slightest evidence of her southern accent. My mother had lived in Texas too. The flash of Jasper before my eyes sent my thoughts stumbling, and I fought to remember exactly why I had gotten in trouble in the first place. Remembering that this was a two-way conversation, I answered my mother;

"I had forgotten that I had detention yesterday. I'm being punished for forgetting," I answered, only slightly twisting the truth. I didn't mention I was initially in trouble for lying, or that my increasing amount of detentions was due to my sarcasm.

"What time will you be home?"

"A half an hour later than I would, normally."

There was a pregnant pause.

"We'll discuss your punishment when you get home. I take it the rest of your day, was better?" She questioned. Yes, I expected the double punishment.

I took a quick swig of water, capping the bottle as I answered.

"Yes, much better. I'm truly sorry about getting in trouble," I said sincerely. I knew how she worried about me, so often. I'm sure she was furious with me.

"We'll speak of it at home. I have to continue my lunch break- my class starts in an hour," she replied.

We murmured the customary departings, and I hung up the phone, only after she did.

And here I was, sitting in Mr. Wir's classroom, doing something I hadn't expected I would be doing. I was grading papers! This was my punishment! It was far too easy, but disgraceful. Disgraceful that this man would put his work off, on a fourteen year old girl, and disgraceful at the grades the rest of the class was receiving!

I suppose common sense was a gift, that few were graced with. Being a "prodigy" amongst these miscreants wasn't hard at all.

Finally, a found a paper that was perfect, astonishing, really, compared to the rest of the classes grades. It was Emmett Cullens. Yet another thing to add to the Cullen-Hale mystery. Not that I expected anything less.

I finished with the papers, and left the school as quickly as I could. I would be going through the same torment tomorrow, unfortunately. At least I wouldn't be doing physical labor. I had enough exercise with dance everyday.

I walked home as I had the day before. My mother was surely home by now, perhaps letting me walk was just another way to punish me. Which reminded me- she was very angry... What would she say when I got home? Well, she would definitely have a long talk with me about how I should be above such meager punishments- and her argument would have numbers. They always did. The number of days in a row I had done something wrong, the number of years I had been doing something, my age- she was a practical woman.

I arrived home, and she was waiting my the door. Her eyes were a little wary.

"You'll explain yourself over tea," she said, and I just nodded, even though she had already turned her back to me.

Our dining room seemed twice as large, whenever she was angry at me. It was always so quiet- such a large house, just shared between the two of us. It might have scared other people, but it didn't scare me. I liked being alone, sometimes.

It was mint tea, but hers had chamomile, to sooth her. I could smell it.

She nodded at me to speak, and I began my story;

"I was given detention yesterday, but I had such a stressful day, that by the end of it, I had forgotten I was meant to serve it. I walked straight home, as you know- and just this morning Mr. Wir reminded me of what I had missed, and decided more punishment was in order."

I stated it as best as I could, and waited in silence for her to respond.

"I'm not angry with you, Grace. It was an honest mistake, missing the detention," she said. I breathed a sigh of relief, but there was still a tension in her eyes I didn't like. She took another sip of tea.

"I'm angry at why you received it, in the first place."

I was suddenly very cold, even with the steaming cup of tea in my hands. They were trembling, so I sat the cup down onto the oak table, and waited for her to go on.

"I called the school, Grace. You received it for lying." Her tea cup was sat on the table with a slight clatter.

"_Lying_," she hissed, and placed her hand over her eyes as though she was sick of looking at me. I waited.

"_Fourteen_ years-"

A hysterical bubble of laughter wormed it's way from between my lips, and her hand dropped from her eyes. They were a dark, stormy green, with fury. Her hand slapped the glass, which was empty- when had she drank all that tea?- off the table, where it shattered into a thousand worthless pieces on the floor.

The laughter stopped, and she leaned forward, until her face was inches from mine.

"Don't _ever_ interrupt me when I'm speaking," she hissed. I leaned back away from her, eyes wide with fright. This was a side of my mother I had never seen before- and never cared to see again.

She leaned back, and put her hands in her lap, and stared at them. She was breathing abnormally hard. I didn't dare move- talk- breath- blink. It was deathly silent, as we sat there.

"Go to your room. Dinner is at six," she said suddenly, standing jerkily, and then she looked down at the mess on the floor.

"I'll get it," I whispered. With my head bent, and leaned down to get on my hands and knees to pick up all the large pieces of glass. I pricked my finger, on the edge, and somehow- even in my frightened state- managed to smile at the thought of sleeping beauty pricking her finger. But I was not sleeping. Or a beauty...

"No, I have it. Go attend to your cut. Do as I say," she said, and turned away without pausing for an answer.

I walked until I was out of my mothers sight for sure, and then sprinted up the stairs, closing and locking me bedroom door behind me, before going to my lap-top, and booting it up.

I stripped and showered, redressed, and by the time I was finished, recorded the incident in my diary. It seemed... worth recording. I had a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach, and the shattering of the glass was a noise I wished I would never hear again.

My mother had frightened me... I felt a little angry at her over-reaction. I hadn't meant to interrupt her- it just happened.

I ran my finger under the faucet. It was bleeding at such a rate that it made me a little nervous. It wouldn't need stitches, but it was still deep enough to annoy me. I barely felt the pain though- I had never really been someone to hurt, easily. I was slightly masochistic. I bandaged the finger, thankful it was my left hand which was injured.

When mother called me down for dinner, we ate in silence, me feeling a little ravenous, and trying to guzzle my water subtly. Skipping two meals in a row was unhealthy.

Then we went on with my lessons as though nothing at all had happened. She was free from the same tension that now filled me, and even had the gall to joke with my during my psychology lesson!

I was exhausted by the end of the day, and fell asleep quickly, trying to put all thoughts of the strange incident behind me

_x_

_-x-No, it won't be long-x-_

_x_

**

* * *

**

_Author: There is it. Such a short chapter, but very important. Yes._

_The song was called "Sitting in Limbo"._

_Oh, review, or perhaps my character will have a tragic accident- ha, the benefits of being the author!  
_

_-x-Ebony-x-_


	7. The Lord's Prayer

_Disclaimer: Refer to chapter six, then chapter five, then chapter four, then chapter three, then chapter two, and then chapter one.  
_

_Author: Thank you! I'd really like some more reviews though. : [ Do you remember a few days ago, I said something about my characters having an accident... Well.. damn._

_To Luna. Glory, you survived seven bloody chapters with me._

_**Warning: Now rated Mature for violence. And reference to Christianity- not intended to offend. But seriously- this is pure violence. Ouch. Hurt me to even **_**write**_**. Heh. Other than that... do enjoy?? It's important. Very.**  
_

_

* * *

_Chapter Seven: The Lords Prayer

I wasn't even awake yet- when I screamed. The sound of my forearm crunching together was enough to scare me- but the pain,_ oh goodness_, the pain, it wrenched up and down my entire arm, as an ice cold hand clenched it tightly- so tightly.

_She's come for me,_ I thought, my eyes flashing open. _My mother snapped and has come for me.  
_

It was the first irrational thought in my mind, and later, I would regret it. How could I have even thought that it was my mother who would hurt me, so? Cause me such pain? But she had broken that cup- unintentionally caused me pain. But she was not capable of hurting me so- my arm was surely broken. She loved me.

I could feel the bones in my wrist grating together at the pressure of the person who still had in a death-grip, and cried out again. Something warm trailed down my arm.

But when my eyes opened- there, standing in front of me was one person who had been on my mind, a lot, lately. Jasper Hale. Oh, was he beautiful. In the moonlight that streamed through my window, his skin seemed to glow oddly, glisten, as though it was wet, perhaps. His hair was so disheveled, and had a slight curl to it. But his eyes, they startled me.

His eyes were crazed, black, and wide. Dark lashes framed them, and his teeth were bared- just like my dream.

I opened my mouth to scream, but his hand slapped over my mouth, hitting my teeth hard. I cried out against his rock-like hand, tears streaming down my cheeks.

_I'm going to die_, were more of my thoughts now. _I'm going to die. I have hardly lived yet! I've done none of the other things that other teens my age have done! I haven't rebelled yet, went out and gotten drunk, lost my virginity- I haven't done anything! My goodness... All I had done in my life was sit home and learn- and that seemed so frivolous, on the eve of my death..._

"You won't scream. Or talk. Or _anything_. Do you understand?" he hissed at me, and I found myself nodding, the pain in my arm unbearable. Why wouldn't he _let it go?_ He had already broken it- _why was he holding on?_

He let go of my mouth, and I let out a sob. He glared at me, and I bit my lip- hard, trying to stifle my sounds of pain. My teeth nearly broke the skin, adding to my level of pain, which was flared, sickeningly. He glanced down at my arm.

He pressed my broken wrist to his face, and inhaled deeply, and I nearly fell uconscious at the sight of my mangled wrist, bones gleaming through skin, and blood- yes, blood dripping down my arm.

But something caught my eye.

For some odd reason the sight of my finger, the bandage having slipped off sometimes in the night, and blood dripping gently from the wound- registered in my mind. It was such an odd thing to notice... But every sense of mine seemed heightened. I could smell my blood in the air (_salt and water, just salt and water_), and feel the iciness of Jasper's skin.

His tongue darted out, and licked the trail of blood from my finger, and he let out a moan. His eyes turned to mine again, and he smiled, almost sweetly, but the wild look in his eyes reminded me what he was doing- though I had no clue why.

"Please," I whispered, the tears blurring my eyes. "It hurts."

He smiled, seeming to have forgotten about the no-talking rule we had established. He brushed a strand of my hair back, tenderly.

"I know," he said, nodding. "I feel it too."

His words made no sense, he couldn't be feeling the pain I was, now, and that southern accent- that would be the last thing I'd hear. I didn't want to die not understanding what he meant.

Suddenly, Jasper was pulled away in a blur, wrenching my broken arm even more, and I opened my mouth to scream, but found my throat was too thick with tears.

"Heaven help me," I whispered hoarsely, and turned on my side, my arm cradled to my chest, trying to find where and why Jasper was gone, but almost afraid to now.

Alice was there too, and her eyes were dark as well, and they kept flickering towards me. Jasper was crouched in front of me, his arms spread wide- almost as though he was protecting me. What an oxymoron. He was causing me such pain, too much pain for me to disregard all of this as a dream. I could detect the blur of their voices- but it was as though they were speaking too fast for me to really understand.

"_Oh Father in Heaven_," I said- _the Lords Prayer_ being the first thing to come to my mind. "_Hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come..._"

"You can't have her. _I_ want her, you _know_ how I want her!" Jasper said, slow, as though he was talking to a child. Alice, so short and boyish looking, looked a little like a child, so it seemed to fit. Her skin glimmered oddly too.

"_Thy will be done..._"

"You can't Jasper- but my God," Alice murmured, turning her eyes to mine, again. "Look what you've already done!"

"_On Earth as it is in Heav'n..._"

Jasper suddenly had me cradled against him, rocking me in his lap as though I was a child. My arm stirred. I cried harder. It was such an intimate position- one I didn't like. Not. At. All. I wished he would let me go. Let me go, and get out of my house.

"_Give us this day our daily bread_," I cried into his sweater, and his hand raked through my hair.

"I know what I did- but it had to be done- It won't hurt much longer, darlin'," he murmured in my ear- the last part.

"_Forgive us our trespasses_," I whispered back, trying to block him out.

"_And forgive those who've trespassed against us_," was that Alice who was murmuring with me? Suddenly, a vicious growl ripped through Jasper's chest, and I felt crushed to him, now. His arms constricted around me, like a boa. It was difficult to breath, and I was hyperventilating, trying to keep up with their conversation, but it went in one ear and out the other.

"Don't. Come. Closer," he hissed, at Alice, I presumed.

"_Lead us not into temptation_," I gasped, and remembered the way I had felt towards Jasper. Such curiosity, such attraction- yet reluctance. Awkwardness. He was a tempting being.

"Jasper, you can't do this! Her mother is in the next room," Alice said, her voice pleading.

"Please!" I said, breaking from my prayer.

"Hush, darlin'," he murmured to me- through clenched teeth this time, and he said something back to Alice, but was too quick, and I couldn't understand.

"_But deliver us from evil!_"

"Jasper don't-"

"Alice your giving me no choice-"

"_For Thine is the power- the kingdom- and the glory forever!_"

And I was flying, but in such pain. I opened my eyes, and pried myself as far away from Jasper's chest as I could, and saw that I was flying- out my window, the ground fast approaching. The night was so dark, and there were spots in front of my eyes.

I let out a frightened scream, it sounding so much _realer_ to my ears, than other screams in movies, ever had.

But when we hit the ground, all I felt was Jasper's cold arms. He turned to face Alice- who had apparently followed us out the window. He still held me tightly, my arm wedged between us uncomfortably.

I was out of prayer, and my mind turned to the other prayer I remembered, from my days of studying the bible.

"_The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside still waters..._"

"Jasper, the rest are on their way. Just let her go- there may be something we can still do. This doesn't have to be the end of everything. Please, you don't know what I've seen..."

"_He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness..._"

"Of course I know what you've seen! You've told us all! But it can't be! Look at her!"

I was dropped to the ground, and cried out in surprise, but continued- it seemed to be the only thing I could do. I had no hopes of escaping this, Jasper's strength surpassed my own so greatly, and my legs felt numb. I couldn't run, even if I tried.

I had the horrible feeling that even if I did run- I could be caught. Caught very, very easily.

My ribs ached with every breath, but I pressed on.

"_Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death- I will fear no evil!_"

"She's so breakable! So easy to kill! And us- _look at us!_ Look at what I did so _simply_-" he broke off suddenly, and I heard him gasp out, strangely. He stumbled back.

"_For You are with me!_" I was on my back, staring at the stars now- they filled the sky tonight, so oddly. Forks usually had such complete cloud cover... "_Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me..._"

"Do you know what she's saying, Jasper? She's_ praying_. Because of you. Yes, I see how easy it happened. I saw. I did, just not in time! Please Jasper- think of Esme. The child she lost. She'll suffer if you go too! Think of Carlisle! _They don't want to lose you!_"

I didn't understand- and I wanted to cry this out loud, but my lips formed the next line of the prayer without my own consent. I was too far gone.

"_You prepare a table for me, in the presence of my enemies!_"

"Who would they lose me to?" He mumbled, so softly I could scarcely hear him over the sound of my frantic breathing, and prayers, bordering on hysterical.

"To yourself!" Alice cried, and she was in front of him. I could only see her back, and his hunched form, her arm wrapped around him in a comforting gesture.

"_You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows...Surely goodness and love will follow me..._"

"Oh Alice, what have I done?" He whispered, brokenly. He sounded as broken as I felt. I felt a little sad for him, but the sadness was squashed to the back of my mind by the pain which consumed me, like the night consumed all of us, standing in my back yard. He had done that to me. Had broken my wrist. Had hurt my ribs, my being itself.

The prayers weren't working. I was going to die. Why weren't the prayers working?

Where was my mother?

My eyes were closing, and the pain had lessened none- but the darkness, the blackness, _that_ would end the pain. Yes, it sounded like a good plan to me...

"_All the days of my life..._"

"You can redeem yourself! Come- Carlisle is here.. He will know what to do..."

Suddenly, cold lips pressed to my forehead, and I heard the mumbling of an apology.

"_And I will dwell in the house of the Lord, forever..._"

The darkness enclosed me.

* * *

_Author: You were not expecting that, were you? Neither was I. Nope. Not. One. Bit. I was having horrid writers block, and all of the sudden, I just closed my eyes and saw Grace, lying in her yard, screaming the Lords Prayer._

_I hope I offended no one, with the use of the Lords Prayer, etc. It was not intended, at all. _

_The rating, due to violence, has risen to a "Mature"- something I thought I was trying to avoid? Heh.  
_

_There was no song- sorry!  
_

_Review. Jasper wants it...  
_

_-x-Ebony-x-_**  
**


	8. Pale September

_Disclaimer: Look at chapter seven, and then six, and then five, and then four, and then three, and then two, and then refer to chapter one.  
_

_Author: I heard somewhere, that if you say "Richard O'Briens name, three times. He'll come to you- this is a famous actor, by the way, no reference to Twilight._

_I've been saying Jaspers name ALL DAY. _

_Still waiting...._

_Thanks for the reviews!!!! To one reviewer particularly, I was just grinning like a fool when I read the many reviews you gave me in a row- I applaud you, __Laurenmlbc. May Jasper come to you and watch over your dreams as you sleep... Wow- did that sound creepy, at all? Oh well..._

_And hey- Luna? Rum, on me. Name the time. N__ame the place.  
_

**_Beta Note: Luna Here: La Pot; Midnight; Friday the 5th; I'll bring the Vodka; You bring "The Package" *Evil laughter in the distance*_**

* * *

Chapter Eight: Pale September

_x_

_-x-My heart went cold, and only hollow rhythms resounded from within-x-_

_x  
_

When my eyes opened, I could see my mother. Her hair was neat, as it usually was. Her eyes were red-rimmed, as though she had been crying. This shocked me, for I had never seen my mother cry in my entire life. Her hands were clenched into fists, and pressed in her lap, a habit she had.

We weren't home. That shocked me. We were in a room with- _oh, help me, please_- beige walls, and a white tiled floor, a large window which dominated that side of the wall to my left, the blinds opened to let what little light there was, into the room.

"I owe you an apology." Her voice startled me, it was so calm, but had a urgent note to it.

I looked back at her, and saw with slight horror, she had tears in her eyes. Tears! My mother!

"For what?" I whispered, confused. None of this was making sense... And neither was the plaster cast on my arm.

"For scaring you. Making you so afraid of me you felt like you had to leave!" She said, and the tears overflowed, rushing down her porcelain cheeks. Yes, I was quite horrified now. I think my mother was going slightly schizophrenic.

_x_

_-x-For what misfortune sows, he knows my touch will reap-x-_

_x_

"Mother... I don't understand," I muttered. My stomach hurt, and there was an ache in my chest and head.

My mother nodded, and her tears had stopped, now. She wiped a cheek elegantly, before replying.

"Yes, the doctors said that might happen. You ran away from me, Grace. You were found with a bag of packed clothes- lying in the middle of the road!" Her voice grew to hold a hysterical edge. " You were hit by a car. Just outside the front of the house! Your wrist is fractured. Completely crushed. You'll be lucky to regain full movement. They thought-"

She took a shaky breath.

"- they thought that they might have to.. to _amputate_, it." She shuddered, along with myself. "Three of your ribs have hairline fractures. You also suffer a concussion. You might not remember any of the accident- perhaps forever."

When she finished, I was left feeling baffled. I didn't remember anything of what she was saying. In fact, I didn't remember anything at all... I had gone to bed that night- and woke up here...

My head ached with the effort to think, to remember! But nothing floated to the surface of my mind.

"I don't remember anything," I said, frustrated. Mother stood, and walked to my bedside, laying a hand on my cheek. Her hands were warm.

_x_

_-x-In a pile at my feet-x-_

_x_

"It's fine Grace. Give it time," she murmured.

We were silent for a moment, myself still trying to remember what had happened the night before.

Or was it even the night before? How long had been asleep? Laying in this little bed, with itchy sheets.

"What day is it?"

"It happened two nights ago," she answered, probably already understanding what I meant, before I even asked.

I nodded. Only two days- that was not so bad. Not so bad at all. At least I hadn't been cationic. At least my brain cells weren't so damaged. I would make a full recovery, despite my hand. It was my right hand anyway- I was left handed. Sure, it would be difficult to type, but... I would manage. I had been hit by a car- I was very lucky to even be alive!

But I had missed September first. It was already the second...

_x_

_-x-Pale September, I wore the time like a dress that year-x-_

_x_

But it was so odd... I had been hit by a car, yes. How could my wrist be completely pulverized- yet the rest of my body only suffer minor injuries?

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Both me and my mother turned to spot Alice Cullen standing there, looking like an angel, and a little sickly in the fluorescent light- both at once. She smiled at me, her black hair sticking out comically.

"Ms. Amery," she said, nodding to my mother.

"Alice," my mother gushed warmly, and I rose both eyebrows in surprise. First name basis? My mother sometimes called _me_ Miss Amery. Had this new development happened in my days when I was asleep? My mother didn't have friends- even at her work, and she was always telling me stories of how she disliked the teenagers she taught. Alice must have been something special to her.

"Grace, you're awake! That's fantastic," Alice flashed me that smile, and I noticed that Edward was behind her. He was leaning against the door frame, with a tan jacket on, looking just as perfect as every other Cullen- or Hale. His hand was on her shoulder, in a sweet gesture.

"Would you like to speak with her alone?" My mother said, standing quickly. "Perhaps try to jog her memory, of that nights events? I'm afraid of what repressing the memory could do to her psychologically. She was always such a fragile child..."

_x_

_-x-Unweighted down by passion or intensity-x-_

_x_

I glared at the back of my mothers head. She was talking about me as if I wasn't even there! She had probably gotten a little too use to me being asleep...

Alice nodded, gratefully. "Sure, Ms. Amery."

My mother nodded, and gave me a last smile, before leaving the room, and closing the door gently behind her. Edward had followed Alice in.

Alice bounded forward, and sat in the chair my mother had, Edward choosing to lean against the wall by the door, and to stare intently at me, as though waiting for me to speak. Watching my every move. It was rather impolite.

His eyes suddenly flickered to Alice, and he grinned for some reason. Oh, yes. They were a couple. How sweet... So young, though. It wouldn't last, probably. Hardly any romance, in younger people did...

"Grace? Hello? You look to be in your own world," Alice said, grinning. I smiled back.

"Yes- I am in my own little world. But don't worry- they know me, well."

Alice laughed. Edward didn't. He was staring at me again, and this time, I stared back, raising an eyebrow. I didn't like it when people stared. It was rude.

"May I help you?" I asked. He smiled gently, and shook his head.

"Grace? Do you remember anything about your accident?"

I glanced back to Alice, with eyes narrowed in frustration.

"No, I can't remember a thing. How do you know...?" I asked, trailing off.

"Oh- I found you. I was on my way back from Port Angeles, I had been shopping... I decided to take the long route home, and saw you laying in the road! You looked half-dead. Frozen," Alice said, her eyes wide, and staring off into the distance as though remembering.

I shook my head slowly, wishing that I could remember, myself.

"I don't remember any of that... Do you know who hit me?"

Alice shook her head somberly. "I didn't see any cars there. Grace, I'm so sorry."

I shook my head, smiling. "You didn't hit me with your car, don't worry about it. It is my problem. I'm shocked though- a hit and run in Forks? But then again, I guess even a small town isn't exempt from crime."

_x_

_-x-My heart went cold-x-_

_x_

She smiled sadly, before standing.

"Well, that was all I needed, Grace. If you ever need me, call me, alright? This is my cell-phone number. I always carry it on me."

She seemed to pull a pen out of thin air, and scribbled furiously on a napkin that had been left from a lunch that I take it my mother had eaten. The food looked horrible, like the food at public school. I shuddered, and took the napkin, placing it gently on my lap, and smiling as she left.

Edward threw me a last glance, and I simply nodded as a departing. He nodded back, smiling a little. I smiled a little, back.

A doctor entered, just as they left, and he smiled at me, his teeth gleaming, while pulling a pen from his breast-pocket.

"Good morning, Miss Amery, I'm Dr. Cullen," he said, taking a seat next to me, and looking at the machines which I was hooked up to.

Cullen. Naturally- he had that same beauty. Those same golden eyes. Was there something in the water they drank? I had never seen such an inhumanly beautiful family before- but then again, I hadn't really gotten outside of the home, much.

My mother came in, as well, and took a seat on the opposite side of me, and smiled slightly and Dr. Cullen. He smiled back, before turning his eyes to me.

"Now, because of the... extreme damage to your wrist, we are going to be giving you a prescription for Vicodin. You're mother told me you are allergic to several medications?"

I nodded. Yes. But I'd never had a reason to take medications, before this incident.

"She was very sure, however that you responded positively to hydrocodone." He was looking over my facial expressions, as though waiting for me to deny that statement. I was unsure of how to answer, so I didn't. He nodded at this conformation.

"The rest of your injuries were very moderate, so you'll be able to go home today, if you'd like."

_x_

_-x-The autumn days swung soft around me-x-_

_x_

Such a difficult decision- spend more time under overbearing sheets, and listening to a stoic beating machine, or go home and perhaps read a book, and relax?

"I'd like to be home as soon as possible." He nodded, and smiled again. He smiled at me, a lot, I noticed. Probably simply the side affects of being a doctor, and having to be polite and soothing to patients and their families.

"Now, I heard from your mother in the hallway that you don't remember the accident- that is common. Sometimes, in cases such as yours-"

I noticed the wording, even if my mother and Dr. Cullen did not. Cases such as mine. Was mine such an oddity?

"- the mind sometimes creates scenarios that are false, to satisfy the blank that's in your mind. You might suddenly have memories of something that didn't happen. It is also a side affect of the medication, so don't be alarmed."

I didn't like that, either. Having memories of something that probably never happened, was unsettling. The lines between reality and fiction would blur. Wasn't that a mental disorder, as well? I had a hard time believing that such a thing could be a side-affect of medicine that is allowed to be on the market, for children as young as me, as well. But Dr. Cullen was the doctor, in the room.

"If you'll sign this form-" he held a piece of paper out to my mother, and then a clipboard, with a pen. She signed, and I was released from the hospital, only a half an hour after waking.

A nurse told me on the way out that I would be coming back in ever few days, for the progress on my wrist to be checked. Apparently, the possibility of amputation was still in the open, if all wasn't healing well.

I stayed in the car while my mother ran into Fork's only pharmacy, and got my medication.

Suddenly, pulling up into the spot next to me, was a face that was becoming very familiar. Alice Cullen, foster brothers Jasper in the passenger seat. More people could have been in the back, but the windows were tinted. I moved my right arm to roll down the window, but was greeted with a sharp pain, and hissed under my breath.

Crossing my left arm over, I rolled up the automated window awkwardly.

"You have a very beautiful car," I said, smiling. It was a yellow Porsche. Very spiffy.

She grinned, and nodded enthusiastically.

"I know- it was a sweet sixteen present from Carlisle. I hope you don't think I'm stalking you, honestly. We came to stock up- my family is going on a camping trip later this week," she said.

"That must be nice. I've never been camping."

Alice looked appalled, but didn't reply. The silence was long, but Alice looked determined not to break it- something that seemed very odd to me. She looked content with the silence. I, however, wasn't. I leaned forward so that I could see Jasper in the seat next to her, smiled and nodded a greeting.

Jasper turned his head away, sharply, and I frowned. Suddenly, my mother was there, as well. She nodded happily to Alice, remarking on the coincidence of meeting her there so shortly after already seeing her, but then her eyes turned to Jasper, and they grew steal.

"Mr. Hale," she nodded a greeting, with narrowed eyes.

"Ms. Amery," he replied, keeping his eyes on the dashboard. My eyebrows furrowed- what was with the tense feelings between my mother and Jasper?

After saying goodbye to Alice, and Jasper, I rolled up the window against the humid air, and waited for my mother to enter the car.

She sat the bag with my medication in it on the dashboard, before throwing a last glare at Alice's Porsche.

"I don't like that Hale boy. You stay away from him, Grace. I don't like the attitude he gave me, when I met him at the hospital. He hardly spoke, and seemed to loathe my presence."

I was shocked at both revelations.

"Jasper was at the hospital? Why, may I ask?"

"He was there with Alice- darling girl. Very charming. He went into your room for a minute too, hardly stayed but a moment, and nearly ran from the room. Keep your distance- that's an order."

"Yes ma'am," I murmured.

But I felt an odd pang of loss at this. I didn't want to not talk to Jasper anymore. He was so interesting...

With a gasp, I thought of something that made my nose crinkle in disgust. Did I have a _crush_ on Jasper Hale? _Crush_- what a childish concept, really. I may have been fourteen, but I felt that I should be above such silly emotions.

But I thought of the feelings I always seemed to have around him, of the yearning to see him, the fact I had dreamed about him- albeit, a nightmare, but still, and nearly groaned in my seat.

_No,_ I thought, very clearly._ I did not have a crush on Jasper Hale_.

_Filthy liar_, my mind whispered back.

I shut my eyes, disgusted with myself. Yes. I was such a liar.

_x_

_-x-All my armor falling down, in a pile at my feet__-x-_

_x_

* * *

_Author: Heh. How was that? I heard that some of you are confused- don't worry. It will all be explained, in future chapters. Maybe FAR in the future- but it's coming.  
_

_More reviews, please?  
_

_The song was "Pale September".  
_

_-x-Ebony-x-_


	9. Paper Bag

_Disclaimer: Refer to chapter eight, and then seven, and then six, and then five, and then four, and then three, and then two, and then to chapter one.  
_

_Author: I don't know how I feel about this chapter, there are certain parts I like, but others I don't._

_I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THE CRAPPINESS IN THIS CHAPTER- I'M GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE! Ugh. Frustrated!!!  
_

_I know you are all confused- and I can't help you. It will be explained in the future, of course, but how far is that future?? I don't know how many chapters this story will be, but I'm thinking of perhaps doing one, someday, in Jasper's point of view._

_However, that will depend on you all._

_Danke, to my dear beta, who has been poking me a lot lately, to keep writing. You all owe her a big thanks!_

_And- this chapter is dedicated to my first reviewer, who is ALSO the 47th reviewer. Me and my friends have a joke with the number 47, and I had planned on dedicating a chapter to the 47th reviewer. Congrats to Giggaloop.  
_

_

* * *

_Chapter Nine: Paper Bag

_x_

_-x-I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star, to pray on, or wish on, or something like that...-x-_

_x_

I read and reread the directions and side-affects on the side of the Vicodon bottle a dozen times. I did research on each of the ingredients, I read real comments that people made about the medication I would soon be on for a very long time.

The more I read, the more my wrist began to hurt. It was completely covered in plaster, and I couldn't even wiggle my fingers. Not that I could feel anything in them but pain. It was excruciating, and very distracting.

But I didn't like taking this medicine, I never liked taking medicine. It made me paranoid, and nervous. I was always looking for the side affects in everything that seemed odd to me. If I was sweating- I'd want to know if I had a fever. If I had to go to the bathroom for the usual, I wanted tests done.

Perhaps I just didn't like doctors, and their suggestions.

But eventually, I needed the pills. Despite whatever they had the slim possibility of doing to me- they would take the pain away from my wrist, and give me relief.

Cursing whoever had hit me, I popped the pills in my mouth and dry swallowed.

I stood there in the bathroom, my eyes wide and scared, staring at my reflection as though expecting my eyes to fall out and down the drain. After nothing happened for five minutes- the longest I could stand to look, I exited the bathroom.

Giving my mother the message that I wasn't very hungry, I went straight to bed, only to toss and turn for an hour until I fell into a fitful sleep.

**_x_**

_I was in a cocktail of sensations. The cold was on my skin, the panic was in my gut, and my eyes were opened frightfully wide. People were talking, but all at once, and few sentences were able to be made out. I could hardly hear the sound of my own thoughts, which felt sluggish, like I was drugged.  
_

_"Look what you've already done!" _

_"You've told us all! But it can't be! Look at her!"_

_"So easy to kill!"_

_"What have I done?"_

_And there, in the center of the entire dark thing, were eyes. Wide, with dark lashes, and black. _So_ black. There was something on my wrist, something squeezing, and it_ hurt.

**_x_**

I awoke just in time to stuff my good fist into my mouth to stifle my scream. My wrist was in a fiery agony. I rolled on my stomach, unto my knees on the floor next to my night table, and wrestled one-handed with the medicine bottle, until it opened suddenly, scattering the pills across my hard wooden floor like marbles in the dark.

I let out a wail, but my hand was already flying over the floor, trying to find two of the little round pieces of heaven, the ones which had gotten be probably a good seven hours of relief. And anything would be better than this pain.

I found one- but goodness, the other I couldn't seem to get a hold on. They slipped out of my panicked grip, until I was wiling to _lick_ them off the floor if I needed to, but things didn't come to that. My fingers wrapped around one more, and I popped both into my mouth, swallowing quickly, and collapsing amongst the remaining pills that had been there all along, but just managing to evade my fingers.

I hadn't realized I was crying until after I swallowed, and I lay there for who knows how long, until my eyes closed and my wrist fell into a dull throbbing.

Forget the possible side-affects, those pills were phenomenal.

_x_

_-x-I was having a sweet fix, of a daydreaming boy, whose reality I knew was a hopeless to be had-x-_

_x_

* * *

_x_

_-x-But then the dove of hope, began it's downward slope-x-_

_x_

I awoke to an icy hand on my shoulder- and screamed out, jumping backwards, scrambling away from it, until I realized I was looking into the eyes of my mother.

She surveyed myself and the mess of pills across the floor with pity.

"Go wash up. You'll be late for school." She was sweeping the pills into neat little piles that were strangely organized, but surely the only way my mother would do it. I nodded, my eyes feeling crusty from crying, and my head throbbing ever so slightly.

My wrist was beautifully numb, and I slipped four more Vicodon pills into my pocket, in case I would need them during the day.

As I showered, I pondered the strange dream that I had had. I hadn't seen any faces, only shadows, and heard only snippets on conversations that made no sense at all. It was impossible that the dream had been what had happened to me, on the night where my memory still fails me to remember. Dr. Cullen said I had been hit by a car. I dreamed of no car.

I stared at the clothes in my closet, glaring slightly. How was I going to dress with one hand? Undressing had been simpler...

It took me nearly twenty minutes to get my limbs through the appropriate holes, feeling justly embarrassed at struggling doing the most basic thing that even four year old could do, I went and ate breakfast.

My mother wanted an explanation for the condition she had found me in, earlier, and I told her the truth, numbing it as best as I could. She would simply worry, and probably come in every night to hand-feed me the pills, with a cup of mint tea to drink. Not that that sounded horrible, being cared upon every moment on the day, but just horribly overbearing. I liked my solitude.

_x_

_-x-Hunger hurts, but I want him so bad, oh it kills-x-_

_x_

When she dropped me off at school, I exited only to be swallowed by a mob of people who had all heard the stories, but different version.

Someone asked if I really had been playing something called "_Chicken_" with a Corvette.

Another asked if I had honestly laid down in the road to perform some odd ritual that could only take place at night, and that my wrist had been drove over.

I tried to ignore them all, mumbling the real story under my breath- that I couldn't remember a thing, and that no, I wasn't in any religious cults.

It occurred to me that this entire situation seemed like a demented game of "_Telephone_". I had heard of the game long ago. A group of people sat in a circle, and one of them came up with a sentence, or word. Whispering it to the person on their left, it went around the circle, and when it got back to the final person, it was always something completely different, having warped each time it was said.

Yes, definitely "_Telephone_"...

I stared at the books in my locker for nearly a full five minutes. How was I going to carry them all, when my arm would hurt at the slightest movement? I had the Vicodon, and my arm was feeling fine, but I planned on keeping that particular limb for the rest of my days, _may they be long_. Dr. Cullen said if it wasn't healing properly, they would amputate.

_x_

_-x-Cause I know I'm a mess that he don't wanna clean up-x-_

_x_

Amy was my knight in shining armor. With a bag slung across her shoulder, she told me that she had gotten special permission to escort me to all of my classes, and carry my books until I was able to do it on my own. I thanked her endlessly on the way to class, feeling like a real jerk for making her carry double the amount of books, even if she had her own in the bag slung across her chest.

In homeroom, Mr. Wir informed me that due to present circumstances, me detentions would be on hiatus until further notice.

This was moderately decent news. I wouldn't be around the insufferable man a moment longer than I had to be- until my detentions resumed.

I would not complain...

I took my seat by Emmett, who nodded at me in greeting, but didn't question the fact that my arm was caked in plaster. His siblings must have told him.

_Siblings, being Jasper Hale. _Ah, yes. Jasper. My little crush on him. It would have been amusing had it been happening to anyone but myself.

_x_

_-x-But as it came down near, so did a weary tear, for I thought it was a bird but it was just a paper bag-x-_

_x_

Liking Jasper Hale was out of the question. Absurd. He was three or four years my senior, most likely being a legal adult, with myself being a legal minor. Not to mention, that the first emotion he ever showed me was a glaring hatred. Even with the fact that we had created something sort of like a friendship- more like a mutual regard of each other- it was far from ever becoming a relationship.

I would simply have to put all thought of him from my mind, and throw myself into this school. Make other friends, never speak to him again. Yes. Getting rid of him would be best. I wasn't the kind of person who harbored romantic fantasies at the risk of being hurt in the end of everything.

But then again- I had never been in a relationship in my entire life. I'd rarely spoken to a boy, for goodness' sake. I was so... innocent... Such a-

Virgin. Yes, that was very much it. I was white in a seemingly gray- bordering on black- world. **(A/N: Let it be shone, that this has NO reference to skin color, or race. Simply innocence.)** No one would want to bother with me, expect to perhaps corrupt me, and I felt I was too smart for that.

_x_

_-x-Honey I don't feel so good, don't feel justified. Come on put a little love here in my void!-x-_

_x_

So why would Jasper ever want me? There was no reason for him to look at me twice. I doubted I was the kind of girl that guys would tend to go after.

"Are you okay?"

It was Emmett, and I realized I had probably been staring at the cover of _The Modern Prometheus_ for a full twenty minutes, simply thinking about the one person I had vowed to put from my thoughts (_oh, the irony_), and wallowing in the self pity that I had created.

"Yes, I apologize. I was lost in my own thoughts," I blushed lightly, and opened the book to perhaps try to read a chapter or two.

"Are you sure? I'm sure with your accident, you could get out of this class easily. Feign excruciating pain, or a seizure..."

I stifled a laugh in my good hand, and grinned at him.

"If I didn't know any better- I would think that you were perhaps trying to tempt me, over to the dark side."

He smirked, not taking his eyes from his book.

"Yes, Luke. Come to the dark side... I will also reveal to you next period that I am your father, but hush- I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise."

I bit my tongue hard, and felt sure that my face was turning extremely red at the effort to keep my laughter in my throat.

I felt that irony coming back- our conversation was eerily similar to what I had been thinking of, only moments before, of darkness and light, innocence and corruption.

"By all means, Darth Vader, I will forget you ever let it slip..."

He chuckled quietly, and I turned my eyes back to the book, definitely feeling more light-hearted than I had before. Emmett had always had such a happy presence, it was hard not to be happy around him.

The bell rang, and Amy was there, in front of me, but she looked slightly depressed.

_x_

_-x-I've got to fold because these hands are just too shaky to hold-x-_

_x_

"Is something the matter?" I asked, closing my book, and standing from my desk.

"Oh, nothing. I just was thinking about next hour. I have Ms. Spires. She's such a bitc-, well, you get the idea. I've been late to her class twice this semester, and she told me that if I was tardy again, she'd get me suspended." Amy frowned. I did too, even though the fact she held her tongue around me was very touching.

"Don't you have the note, explaining that you're helping me around...?" I asked. She nodded, biting her lower lip.

"Yeah, but I'm worried that she'll find a way around it, claim I was abusing my power, or something..."

"I'll carry her books to Calculus," Emmett answered. I didn't feel perturbed that he had been listening in, I was actually thankful that he would help out Amy like that, she had been such a good friend to me, since the beginning of the year.

Amy looked visibly relieved, and already was passing my books to Emmett.

"Oh, thank you Emmett, really, I owe you one- would you be able to get her to her fourth hour class, too? I have Art on the other side of the school..."

"Sure. My brother has History with her. I'm sure he won't mind carrying an extra set of books, for a cripple." Emmett was teasing me, but I felt my stomach drop, and yet my heart fly to my throat.

"Okay, thanks- I have to run- you're fine with this, right Grace?" But Amy was already gone, and there was no going back now. Emmett was striding towards the door, the weight of both of our books being no problem for his bulging muscles.

_x_

_-x-I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb, looking for a little hope-x-_

_x_

I stood there, my mouth opening and closing like an idiot for a few seconds, for jogging after him. He seemed unconcerned with my speechless state.

I had forgotten fourth period with Jasper. I sat next to him, as well as next to him in Calculus. It would be harder to ignore something that you sat directly next to. Perhaps they would switch our seats around soon, just for a change of scenery? That seemed like a possibility... A small one, but a possibility none the less.

My floundering mind had preoccupied myself until Jasper was sitting there, directly in front of me. His blond hair was swept across his eyes, which were downcast, at a book that he seemed to be glaring at, more than reading. His eyes were odder today. There weren't black, or gold, but more of an... Orange... It was strange, unsettling. _Beautiful_.

_x_

_-x-And I want him, so bad oh it kills-x-_

_x_

His head snapped up at me, and I flushed with embarrassment, praying that I hadn't said that last thought out loud. The last thing I needed was to make this little school girl crush publicly known; especially to the subject, itself!

I took my seat next to him, and he leaned away from me ever so slightly, and whispered something to Emmett. It was none of my business, so I decided to at least attempt to make myself look busy. I began to do the problems on the appropriate page.

Jasper's voice was a soothing blur of words, and I relaxed into a steady rhythm, until the sound of his voice shattered that peace, filling my stomach with butterflies that were extremely violent.

"My condolences on your accident," he murmured. "How are you feeling?"

I was bewildered. What did he mean, by all this? Could it be possible that he even cared?

"Thank you. I'm feeling as best as can be expected when one is plowed over by a car," I said, trying to smile a little.

Jasper made a noise in the back of his throat, and quickly turned his head away quickly after this sentence, and I turned mine back to my work.

_x_

_-x-He said "It's all in your head" and I said "So's everything" but he didn't get it-x-_

_x_

We worked in silence.

When the bell rang, Jasper was informed of the situation by a grinning Emmett, and a blushing me. I was still embarrassed that I was so helpless in my injured state I could hardly hold my books. I didn't know how much I took my arms for granted, until being threatened with amputation and crippling pain.

Jasper agreed to take me, and gathered my books in his arms. I couldn't help but stare at his arms, the wiry muscles flexing under his pale skin. He was wearing a white long sleeved shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, giving me my view.

I scowled at my childishness, and walked silently beside him, throwing him the occasional glance that I hoped seemed nonchalant. He kept his eyes firmly ahead, the extra weight of my books not throwing off his stride. He had much longer legs than myself, so I struggled to keep up, even without my books in my arms.

My wrist was beginning to ache. I didn't remember the time that I had taken the pills last- I could only remember waking in the middle of the night, and scrambling for them like a foolish addict.

I reached into my pocket, and two of the pills into my mouth, dry-swallowing.

_x_

_-x-But he didn't get it-x-_

_x_

Jasper turned to watch me do this, but once I finished, turned back to keeping his eyes on our path.

When we reached History class, Jasper sat my books on my desk, and took a seat at the desk next to it.

"Thank you," I murmured.

"It was no problem- do you need me to carry them to your next class, as well?" he asked.

"Well, I have lunched after this, but I'm sure that Amy can carry my books for the rest of my afternoon classes," I answered.

"I'll carry them for you. I'll be at your locker after lunch," he suggested, making my heart begin to pound.

It was extremely stupid of me to notice such an insignificant detail- but he would have to know where my locker was to meet me there, therefore, he must have noticed me at it before. _Noticed_ me.

"Goodness I'm so childish," I mumbled, chuckling to myself. Jasper turned to me, and the corner of his lip lifted up in a half smile, and he laughed with me, as though he understood the feeling himself.

I cocked my head at him, but laughed with him, feeling oddly content, and thinking how our good our laughs sounded, together like that.

_x_

_-x-Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love-x-_

_x_

**

* * *

**

_Author: There. Hm... I don't know... Thanks for the reviews, friends.  
_

_The song was called "Paper Bag"._

_Review again, please, because the reviews make Jazzy feel special, and he then nonchalantly asks me to.... oh, write another chapter perhaps? One where he looks good, instead of evil?_

_Obey Jasper's wishes!  
_

_-x-Ebony-x-_


	10. Not About Love

_Disclaimer: Please refer to chapter nine, then eight, then seven, then six, then five, then four, then three, then two, and then chapter one.  
_

_Author: --_she blushes and giggles, holding hand over mouth like the girly, fourteen year old she is_-- Thank you for the reviews, folks. I'm really pleased. Yes. If you noticed... I'm not updating as quickly. Why? Honestly? I'm a Gemini. For you people who don't get my zodiac-lingo, that means I was born between May 21, and June 21, and that I get bored extremely easily. I know where I want to go with this story, but I'm not in the mood to write it- I'd rather watch Johnny Depp be beautiful, and read books._

_Personally, I blame the fact that Johnny Depp has beautiful cheekbones- _yes_- I just blamed my laziness on cheekbones. But I can do that! Can't I?..._

_Point, I'm trying. Give me time, oh loyal people. And sorry for my talking of nothing Twilight related, I'm simply thinking of Mistah Depp today._

_Happy Holidays, and Merry Christmas, to those who celebrate it. Drink in moderation, kiss your lovers, and stay safe.  
_

_To my darling beta, Luna, don't give up on me.  
_

_

* * *

_Chapter Ten: Not About Love

_x_

_-x-Last nights phrases, sick with basis, are still writhing on my floor-x-_

_x_

I went into lunch with Amy, informing her that Jasper would be taking over her duties to hold my books (_only when I said it out loud did I think of how romantically stupid it sounded, he would be _carrying_ my _books!). She seemed shocked that Jasper had offered, but told me to give him her thanks.

She then went into a ten minute rant on how the evil "Spires" had given her a detention for chewing gum. She had not been chewing gum, so she claimed. I listened to this story as we sat at the end of a table, me sipping my water, and her making her way through a slice of peperoni pizza, when I saw an odd sight taking place on the other side of the room.

_x_

_-x-And it doesn't seem fair that your wicked words should work-x-_

_x_

Over the exaggerated limb movements of Amy _(such an enthusiastic person, honestly, she was a dear)_ I saw Alice was arguing with Jasper. She was standing in front of him, her hands on the table, finger splayed flat, and was inches from his face, saying something with fury in her eyes. He hissed something back, his eyes flickering to the surrounding students who happened to leaning towards them, hoping to catch a snippet of the argument.

"Amy, are you done with your food? I'll throw it away for you." I grabbed Amy's tray, despite her protests, and began walking towards the garbage cans, which were placed directly next to the arguing duo. I was ashamed of how curious I was, but it couldn't be helped. I was simply fascinated by anything that was remotely connected with Jasper. I was like a fan-girl, _disgusting._

_x_

_-x-Given at close range, for the gag, and the bird, and the ammunition round-x-_

_x_

Edward Cullen was in the conversation now, speaking quickly, his eyes darting back and forth between them, looking like a dreadful middleman. Like a human trying to rip two fighting dogs apart, although the fight between the duo was definitely not like rabid dogs, ripping each other apart. It looked more cold, than vicious.

I walked closer, taking in the entire scene, and wondering what could cause such an argument. I hoped it didn't have anything to do with me, but I guess it was a selfish thought to think that way- not _everything_ had to do with me.

Deep inside me, I unbearably thought how I wished everything that had to do with Jasper, would with me, as well. I frowned at myself, but continued making my way across the crowded room, holding the tray above my head so it wouldn't meet it's demise against the bodies of one of the students who surrounded me.

_x_

_-x-Doesn't seem fair that your wicked words should hurt me-x-_

_x_

Suddenly, Jasper's head snapped up to meet my eyes, and then I caught part of a sentence that Alice said, filled with malice and pleading;

"-what you've done!"

It wasn't the secret of life on earth, but it had an effect on me; as though I had found out some incredibly important, yet devastating secret. My knees locked. My legs stiffened, my spine was straightening, when a sudden memory hit me- no, it _couldn't_ be a memory... _Couldn't be_, I told myself, as I watched it.

_Jasper_- sitting on my bed, in my bedroom. My hand was locked in his vice-like grip, and he pressed my bleeding finger to his mouth, his icy tongue coming out to trace the dark trail of blood that had-

_x_

_-x-Conversation once colored by esteem-x-_

_x_

"Grace? Are you alright?"

I was staring at Edward so suddenly, that I was unsure when he had gotten there... Hadn't he been across the table- at least ten feet away?

But my eyes caught Jasper's over his shoulder, and he was staring at me to, his eyes wide- _those _eyes! The eyes that were so black, so black, before, but were such an orange now.

I took a step back, cocking my head at them, realizing that the entire Cullen-Hale family was standing there, staring at me-

-but I was hardly staring at them, that scene of Jasper licking the blood off my finger kept replying like some horror film that I had been thrown in.

_x_

_-x-And it doesn't make sense... no it doesn't seem right-x-_

_x_

"_Deliver us from evil?_" I murmured it as a question, but the affect it had on their faces was startling. Jasper flinched backwards, and his head turned sharply away, as though I had slapped him. It seemed that he did that a lot when I opened my mouth. He began to glare at nothing and everything all at once, his fists clenched tightly until tendons stuck out on his beautiful arms...

Edwards eyes didn't change a bit. They were already a steely gold, and he _kept staring at me_! Goodness, why was he staring at me like that? He was looking at me as though he suspected I was a criminal- he was looking at me _suspiciously_.

_I'm innocent!_ My mind shouted it out as I turned my eyes away from his imploring ones, unto the shorter one.

_x_

_-x-"What is this posture, I have to stare at?" that's what he said when I'm sitting up straight-x-_

_x_

Alice was shaking her head, and glaring at Jasper, still mumbling things at him. Her little eyes held a fury that I would never want to be on the receiving end of, but her eyes quickly turned back to me, wide. Frightened. Timid. I couldn't stand to look at her either. They were all looking at me as if I had the answers! I didn't know what in heaven or hell was happening to everyone- and what did it have to do with me?

Emmett looked genuinely confused, his eyes flickering between all of us, as if looking for explanation. I felt a little thankful he wasn't just looking at me to explain.

_x_

_-x-Turn on my heels, step out of sight, and try to live a lovelier life-x-_

_x_

Rosalie simply looked furious. She was the only one, other than Edward, staring directly at me, and her eyes were like coal, and icy. Similar to the ones from my dream. Jasper's eyes.

"Sorry," I mumbled, though for what I had no clue, it was simply a knee-jerk reaction, and I turned to walked as quickly as I could without exciting any attention, out the doors of that stifling cafeteria. I felt like I was choking.

The hallways seemed full, though it was lunch, and I had no idea what business they had in the hallways. Someone much older than myself, and rather tall, pushed me sharply into the lockers, out of their path.

"Stay out of my way!" they shouted at me, and I mumbled an apology, ducking into the first doorway, to get out of the sea of teenagers. If I didn't, I would drown.

I hid myself in the girls bathroom, the stall locked, while I waited for lunch to be over. I tried to distract my tired mind, by reading the walls.

_x_

_-x-Not about love, cause I am not in love-x-_

_x_

_C.C. and D.K. for ever- _was written in a crude heart, and I felt a pang of anger at the fact that this _C.C_. seemed so sure of her love- but that brought me back to Jasper (_love? Jasper?_)- so I read something else. Hopefully something that I couldn't connect with Jasper.

_Jess Ricketts is a slut. _Okay- that was pretty harmless- _to me_- after all, I didn't know this Jess, and it had no connection with what I was trying to keep my mind off of. Of course, the rudeness was shocking, and _that _thought brought me back to that first look Jasper had given me, which sent me reeling into a state near hyperventilation.

_x_

_-x-Cause I am not in love-x-_

_x_

Goodness, my reactions to these things- _Jasper_, I thought firmly, _if you're gonna say it, say it_- was _ridiculous_.

I couldn't run from them, because Jasper was going to be coming to my locker to carry my books. I needed to think.

First, my dream last night- the one with the eyes, and the arguing. And then, I saw Jasper _licking_ the blood off my finger!_ Like some kind of vampire!_

I thought of these things for a few minutes, until the bell rang, a shrill sound that cut straight through my sanity, but it was mulled underneath my drowsiness.

_x_

_-x-Cause this is not about love, in fact I can't stop falling out. I miss that stupid ache-x-_

_x_

I felt so tired, due to my bad dreams, I was sure, that I could hardly try to make sense of anything.

I unlocked the stall, and the instant I stepped out, I noted the fact that perhaps, I was more tired than I thought. The entire room seemed to spin, and I could hardly concentrate of my walking...

Suddenly- it hit me.

"Oh goodness," my breaths came in short, quick spurts, as I leaned heavily against the side of the stall.

Drowsiness, to the extreme. Quick breaths- _how long had I been breathing like that?_- cold and clammy skin, although I couldn't judge that for myself, I _did _feel cold. Nausea.

_x_

_-x-This is not about love!-x-_

_x_

All symptoms of an overdose of Vicodin.

And this drowsiness could lead to a coma. Which could lead to death if I didn't _get out of this bathroom_, and to a place where someone would find her if she passed out cold.

But the entire room was spinning, and I could hardly keep my eyes open. My breathing was so quick- not as if I couldn't get enough oxygen to my brain, but as if all the carbon dioxide wasn't getting _out _of me. I wanted to breath out, more than I did in.

_Hyperventilation_, my mind told me. _You're hyperventilating, congratulations! And you're doing it in a bathroom, in a school you hate._

A stupid school, full of stupid people- and smart ones who hate you.

I found myself laughing. It was hysterical, horrible giggling, that sounded more like choking, but I had to express my humor at the fact that once again within two days I had found myself in a life threatening situation. Was I so stupid, as to overdose on a medication that was suppose to keep my limbs from being sliced off?

"Grace?" It was Alice, who already had her cellphone out, and was dialing furiously, her fingers blurring in my tiredness- or was she simply dialing so quickly that I couldn't follow...? It didn't matter. I struggled to listen to her words, but they hardly made sense, to my ears.

_x_

_-x-'Cause I choose to listen to that filthy mouth-x-_

_x_

"Lean against me, my dad's on his way," she said, but her voice sounded so slow, it was hard to concentrate on it.

"It's an overdose," I tried to say, but the syllables sounded so slow that I couldn't understand them. I scrambled for my pocket, trying to get the pills out, trying to convey the message that she might already even know, she always seemed so _knowing._

I got the pills out, but dropped them, and I groaned, prepared to slump for the floor and go on a twenty-minute-grope-fest of the linoleum to find those bloody pills- _it seemed horribly reminiscent of the mornings grope-fest_- but I saw she already had one in her hand.

"Vicodin. Overdose, yes, thank you. Stay awake with me, okay? I'm just going to help you get out of here. It's the-" She stopped talking suddenly as if she had said more than she wanted, and put her words into actions, pulling my arm around her shoulder. We were similar heights, and she seemed patient with my slow steps.

My eyes were closed by now, and she was murmuring with more urgency, commands for me to stay awake, but it seemed like at times she wasn't talking to me- giving orders to people around us, perhaps?

"Tired," I slurred. "Coma. Death. _Deliver us from evil!_"

"Yes, _in the name of the father, and the son, and the_-" She seemed to be praying with me, and I could detect a note of sorrow in her voice, and all I felt was a silent sense of deja vu, before diving into a sea of darkness that was very comforting, but very frightening, all the same.

_x_

_-x-Become dialogue, as a diagram of a play for fun. Blood-x-_

_x  
_

* * *

_Author: I know. You're thinking "This piece of shit is what it took her so long to write? I want my money back!" Even though I am not soliciting money from you- I get the gist. _

_But please don't say this to me. The last person who flamed one of my stories- I never finished it. I'm the kind of person who feels like, if one person hates what I tried so hard to create, they all hate it, secretly. _

_The song, in this shitty chapter, was "Not About Love".  
_

_-x-Ebony-x-_

_Post Script: I'm really sorry, too. Honestly. I have just been a little depressed lately. Maybe that's why my character keeps murmuring in my ear and telling me that she should have another accident.. Eh, I don't know. Review. Please?_**  
**


	11. Sullen Girl

_Disclaimer: Please refer to chapter ten, then nine, then eight, then seven, then six, then five, then four, then three, then two, in which you will then refer to chapter one.  
_

_Author: ----A little girl of fourteen walks through the hallways, her brown hair bobbing back and forth as she walked. The bell had just rang, and students were crammed all around her. She hardly noticed. She wasn't quite all there, you see. Just as she neared the exit to the school, she stopped by a girl with a short, black hair cut, who was kneeling on the floor, putting books into a bag._

_"Thank you for the book, Zoe. I have a lot to read though, so it might take a few days..."_

_She trailed off, as she saw a little button lying on the floor, face down. It was the kind that usually had witty sayings on the front. The pin was sticking straight up._

_"Don't move!" The girl shouts, and she snags it off the ground, so Zoe wouldn't sit on it by accident. "Hey!" _

_Some students turn to look, as the girl begins to read whats on the button out loud;_

_"It says 'I live in my own world, but don't worry they-'" She broke off, and a wide grin spreads across her face. She shoves the button in her pocket, and turns, running towards the exit._

_"Must have had something to do with Jasper, huh?!" Called Zoe knowingly from behind her. She walked on, grinning._

_"Sorta. I gotta go right, we'll talk later!" Ebony smiled.----_

_True story. I came home, and wrote. The button is on the desk in front of me. Enjoy.  
_

_And to Luna- hope '09 is the greatest year of your life. May you live long, heh._

* * *

Chapter Eleven: Sullen Girl

_x_

_-x-Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself-x-_

_x_

I awoke, and it was all I could do to withhold the shock I felt at being surrounded by Cullens- and Hales, I reminded myself.

Alice to the left of me, Jasper to the right. The rest were scattered around my room, all with their significant other.

"She's awake. Sort of. Twelve minutes exactly until the mother comes." Alice said, and she grinned at me, wiping my hair back from my face. "Hallo sleeping beauty. There isn't need to try to talk, I know you want to- but you're very confused. Me and Jazz here, are going to clear things up for you."

"As best as we can, in your condition," Carlisle chimed in, turning a critical, warning eye, to each member of his family, before smiling gently at Jasper, and motioning for him to precede.

Jasper turned his orange gaze on me, and smiled a little, but it was shaky, and I felt a deep apprehension in my stomach-

"You're influencing her too much. If you can't keep your power to yourself, I'll have to ask you to leave, Jasper," Edward said, glaring. Jasper glared back.

"Then you keep yours to yourself! I can't help it! She's absorbing me!"

"My God! You two argue like a married couple," Rosalie snarled, barring her teeth at them in a gesture that frightened me. I'd never seen someone look so feral when angry. "If you can't control yourselves around each other, then this discussing shouldn't even be happening! Fools! Idiots! Ba-"

"Rosalie, that is quite enough," Carlisle said sternly.

_x_

_-x-All day and all night I wander the halls-x-_

_x_

I edged backwards into my bed, trying to get away from them all, without letting it show that I thought they were all crazy, but suddenly, the dark feelings in my gut were gone, and I breathed a curious sigh of relief, turning wide eyes on everyone in the room. I felt unnaturally calm, and it was very wrong. Like trying to swim upstream. Or being off-beat while dancing.

"What-?" I questioned, only to find my tongue particularly tied. But the haziness was lifting, quickly.

"You're confusing her more! Gosh! Listen, Grace," Alice said, turning her eyes to me. "And Jasper, feel free to tell us how she' s feeling. Listen, you've been wondering about us, haven't you?" she questioned, her voice low and soothing. "You've seen that we're... different. Strange. Do you know why, we're different?"

I heard a snort come from across the room, suspiciously from Rosalie's corner.

"Different," she muttered, chuckling darkly, but I hardly heard her.

My eyes were wide with terror as I watched

_(Jasper licking the blood off my finger)_

this scene with a sense of knowing and dread. I did know. I _did_. But I didn't want to say, I wouldn't say it. Couldn't.

(licking... blood)

"We're vampires."

"No beating around the bush? Why not play an intricate guessing game, _eh Alice_?"

"Enough Rosalie!"

_x_

_-x-And there's too much going on-x-_

_x_

And the fact that she actually _said it_, made it twice as ridiculous. I laughed, but it felt hollow. Jasper had licked the blood off my finger, but up until now, I had been trying to convince myself that perhaps it was all my imagination, that what Dr. Cullen had said earlier, about my mind creating it's own scenarios, to fill in the time gap, was true.

But I felt it wasn't. The scenario was just too out of the blue! So _random_! Wouldn't my mind have created something more reasonable to suggest had happened? Like maybe some old, huge red truck coming by and just slamming into me?

"She doesn't believe us," Jasper murmured, his voice soothing. It wrapped it's feathery lightness around my darkened heart, and seemed to relieve it slightly, of it's incredulity.

"How do you expect me to? I'm..." I stuttered slightly, and found the fact that all their eyes were on me, unnerving, "I'm a _logical person_. I don't believe in ghosts... or fairies... or- or _vampires!_ It's just... unscientific. I..."

I paused again.

"You....?" Alice goaded.

"I need proof."

Jasper's eyebrows rose.

_x_

_-x-too much going on-x-_

_x_

"What kind of proof?"

I shrugged, feeling too nonchalant.

"I don't know. Just... something that my mind can fall back on..."

"I can't believe I'm saying this- but think of a number," Edward said, looking irritated.

Emmett burst out laughing.

I rose my eyebrows, feeling the humor tug at the corners of my lips, but thought of my favorite number-

"Forty-seven."

The room was silent for a moment, but full of smug eyes.

"Lucky guess," I hissed, with wide eyes. I decided to be a little more difficult... Let's go with-

"Twenty-nine million, three hundred forty-nine thousand, six hundred seventy-seven. The digits add up to forty-seven."

My face went white, and the heart monitor next to me, began to beat at a terrible rate. There was no possible way that he could pull the correct sequence of eight numbers just out of the air.

"What does that prove?" I snapped. "You can- goodness, this is _impossible_- you can read my mind. That doesn't mean your a vampire!"

"Alice- the lamp? Would that work?" Jasper asked, rolling up his sleeves- giving me a view of his delicious forearms.

_x_

_-x-But it's calm under the waves, under the blue of my oblivion-x-_

_x_

Edward turned to me suddenly, raising an eyebrow, but quickly, his golden eyes flickered to Jasper. "She apparently likes your arms. She thinks they're delicious."- but he was trying to be sneaky, and say it in French. Well, he picked the wrong language!

"Quiet! My thought are my own! I can think of his delicious arms if I please!" I hissed back, in fluent French- thankful I had learned, from my mother.

Emmett burst out laughing again, filling the room with his hearty laughter, but it was Jasper's bass that I really enjoyed hearing.

A blush of embarrassment filled my cheeks, and I turned my head, but my eyes kept flickering back to his arms. I noticed, he rolled the sleeves even higher, and the sinewy muscles seemed to flex, making an odd fluttering happen in my stomach. I ignored Rosalie's insults which were flying at everyone in the room.

Alice brought the lamp that was on the table to my left, over my body, the cord resting on the blue blanket that I lay underneath, until Jasper held it, across the bed. He held it close to his bare arm, and something caught my eye.

I grabbed for his arm- smiling triumphantly on the inside,_ I was touching his arms!_- and held them close to my eyes, flinching at the tug of the IV which was in my own forearm.

There were bite marks, marring his beautiful alabaster skin, crescent shaped bites...

"Seven minutes..." Alice murmured for some reason in the background- I didn't acknowledge her.

"You've been bitten. I apologize," I whispered, doing the only sensible thing I could think of in a situation that called for odd emotion, the kind that tugged at your heart and made your scalp all prickly- apologize.

There were many, criss-crossing up and down his skin, and I felt sure that they had to have hurt. Who would have done that to him? Some cannibal, perhaps, but still, it was so violent, it made my stomach churn.

"Oh, no. Well, yes, I _was_ bitten, but I'm talking about the... shining, I suppose. We don't really have a name for it."

_x_

_-x-Is that why they call me a sullen girl, a sullen girl-x-_

_x_

When I turned my eyes to his skin itself, instead of the horrendous scars, I saw that he was... glittering. Like millions of the finest diamonds were embedded into the skin- making him even more valuable. _It would figure that Jasper would be made of diamonds..._

"They aren't diamonds- and Jasper isn't special, in that sense. We all do it, but only in certain lighting, and the sun. We... glitter, in your own words," Edward said, and they passed the lamp back, until it was on the table, as it should have been.

Now, the glittering was something that I just... couldn't ignore. Along with the mind-reading. Was it possible that maybe they were telling me the truth?

"We are, telling you the truth," Edward went on, ignoring my glare at him answering my thoughts. "But we haven't gotten to the most crucial thing yet- what we, eat?" He asked, leaning forward, prepared to access my reaction.

"Human blood," I answer, eyes flicking to Jasper unconsciously, and all of the sudden- I remembered Jasper sitting in my room, on my bed, licking at my bloody fingers, and moaning as though it was an aphrodisiac. Heat filled my cheeks at the thought of Jasper making any gutteral noise, and I glared as Edward snickered.

And then Alice had came- hadn't she? She was everywhere... And she had tried to stop him from- from what? I couldn't remember more than that, but a sudden fear gripped my insides, and I scooted away from Jasper quickly.

_x_

_-x-There's too much going on-x-_

_x_

One thing that I did remember, was the pain. And that he caused it.

I cradled my wrist to my chest, and stared, wide eyed at Jasper.

Jasper's eyes closed tight in a grimace, and he turned his head away, shamed.

"Okay, I think this is a part that only.... a few of us, need to be here for, Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Emmett- would you-?"

"Already done," Esme- a women with caramel colored hair, and a gentle air about her said.

"No," Rosalie hissed, her eyes narrowed in fury. "We deserve to be here!"

"Five minutes!" Alice said, and she was ignored.

"Rosalie, for once in your life do what you're suppose to, and shut up," Jasper growled.

She sneered at him, flicking her blond hair back. "Oh yes Jasper- because you're _so_ good at doing what you're _suppose to_!"

Jasper was standing suddenly, and I stared wide-eyed as he simply glared at Rosalie being tugged from the room by Emmett.

"Don't over do it, please?" Carlisle murmured, taking a last look at the beeping machine at my side. Once the door was closed, I was feeling much calmer.

_x_

_-x-But it's calm... under the blue of my oblivion-x-_

_x_

I was left with Jasper, Alice, and Edward. A vampire who wanted to kill me, one who wanted to save me, and the other who just wanted to know what I was thinking-

"So you've accepted that we're vampires?"

"Get out of my head! _Please!_" I hissed, pressing my hands against my ears as though to block him out, only to cry out in pain at my wrist, which furthermore caused me to flinch away from Jasper.

"I'm sorry," they all seemed to say at the same time, for different reasons, I was sure.

"Please, explain to me! Why?" But suddenly, something huge dawned on me and I gasped, "Oh goodness, Jasper if you are reading my mind too..."

"No, I don't read minds, not like Edward." He stated. "I guess that's a good a place to start as any."

He smiled weakly, but seemed a little torn on how to begin.

"I'm psychic," Alice chirped, hooking hands with Edward. "I get these little visions, you see, and they reflect what a person is deciding to do, that's how I seem to be in the right places at the right time. Brilliant if you're in a game of poker, or predicting the weather. Bad if you're trying to figure out what someone is going to do- you change your mind a lot, do you know that?"

"Alright Alice, thank you- I can manipulate emotions." Jasper's explanation was so much simpler than Alice's, but much less frightening than Edwards. "Sometimes it's a little hard to control, and you might feel what I'm feeling, so I apologize ahead of time."

"You're forgiven," I mumbled, and simply sat, stunned. This was... so impossible. Perhaps it was all just a well thought out hoax... I mean, the number thing, and the glittering was a little hard to explain, but everything else was just a well thought out story.

"You're mother will be walking in the room in exactly four minutes and twenty- nineteen, eighteen seconds... Do you want to come to our house, where we can explain this better?" Alice said, and I found my eyes darting to the clock- it was one fifteen, on the dot_. Four minutes and eighteen seconds, you say? We'll see._

I had only been passed out for a few hours, because of my having the earliest lunch period.

"You're home?" I gasped, awed. "I've never been to someones home that wasn't my own, before..."

Alice frowned. "The way she keeps you tied up, is bordering on abusive. We'll get to our house, okay? Whether Jasper has to manipulate his way straight through her, or Carlisle orders that he needs to keep a closer eye on you, _alright_?"

"Alright..." I said, a little afraid of that determined expression on her face.

Edward chuckled, and smiled at her.

Suddenly, Alice beamed. "It'll work. No need to bring anything, but necessities- oh, don't bring anything, if you will. We have everything you need, honestly, we'll buy it. _You're doubting me_. I have plans for you-"

"You're creeping her out, Alice, and me as well." Jasper said.

"I can't help it. She's doubtful, and it's blurring things."

Suddenly, the door burst open, and my mother came storming in, her eyes puffy once again, and when she caught sight of my visitors, she swiped at her cheeks quickly.

"Grace," she clucked angrily. "You overdosed? How could you have done something so... stupid?"

I flinched. _Stupid?_ That insult hurt more than anything Lacey had ever called me. Anything that was against my intellect.

"I know, I apologize. My hand just... really hurt," I said, trying to ignore the sadness that was mirrored around the room at the statement.

"Pain is no excuse for making a life threatening _mistake_." I didn't miss the slight stress of the last word, and embarrassed tears filled my eyes.

I wished that if I was going to cry Jasper, Alice, and Edward would leave the room.

"I was lucky that Alice was there," I said, and smiled at her, a little watery.

My mother turned to her with a smile that hurt me to see. Why was it that my mother had never smiled at _me_, so? I knew she loved me. But for once, I wished that she might show me that she was proud, or happy with me.

"Alice, dear, yes, it seems that this is the second time that Grace owes you her life," My mother said, smiling gently.

Alice smiled sweetly, and behind her back, gave me the thumbs up sign.

"It was no problem, ma'am, of course! But I am worried about Grace," she sent a sad smile my way, that I hoped was for show. "I was wondering if maybe you would let her spend the weekend at my house, with me and my sister, Rosalie. I thought it would be a great opportunity for us to bond- and to keep an eye on her."

_Wow, she's good at this deceiving game._

My mother frowned slightly.

"Oh Alice, I don't know..." But suddenly, her expression brightened. "Oh, why not? It couldn't hurt!"

Couldn't... _Hurt_? This was not my mother. But then, I remembered how Jasper was suppose to manipulate her emotions if they were heading in the wrong direction.

I tried to send all my gratitude out towards him, and from the warm, fuzzy feelings I got back, I felt confidant it worked.

"Alright, but will you call me if anything goes wrong? Even if she gets a papercut? I worry for her health..." I felt a twinge of annoyance at this statement. I was not some little fragile china doll.

"Of course, ma'am!" Alice oozed, grinning widely. She reminded me too much of the cat who caught the canary. "My father wants to go over some thing with you, but he said that thankfully, Grace hadn't overdosed much, and that she would be fine as long as she was hydrated."

"Oh that's great- is Dr. Cullen just outside?"

Alice nodded, and my mother left.

"That was amazing Alice,"_ if not a little frightening_, I added. Edward laughed, and Jasper, getting the gist that I must have thought something humorous, laughed as well.

_x_

_-x-Is that why they call me a sullen girl, a sullen girl?__-x-_

_x_

* * *

_Author: Well... did you enjoy? I did. I wasn't expecting that turn, until I wrote it. Hm.  
_

_The song was "Sullen Girl"._

_Review, because life is good, I am young, and I have inspiration to write.  
_

_-x-Ebony-x-_


	12. The Way Things Are

_Disclaimer:Please refer to chapter eleven, then ten, then nine, then eight, then seven, then six, then five, then four, then three, then two, in which you will then refer to chapter one.  
_

_Author: This chapter actually has a special place in this black hole I have for a heart... It's kind of sad, but it explains what I have had in my head since the beginning of this story. I've gotten dozens of reviews- some asking for a little defiance from Grace, towards her mother... Well.... Relish in it.  
_

_To my dearest beta Luna, I wish you many hot summer days, with lemonade and your Kartik, for sticking with me.  
_

_

* * *

_Chapter Twelve: The Way Things Are

_x_

_-x-I wouldn't know what to do with another chance if you gave it to me-x-_

_x_

After being in Jasper's soothing presence, whether that presence be forced or instinctive, I found myself on edge. Dr. Cullen allowed me exodus only on the compromise that I would only take the Vicodin on a carefully planned schedule, and perhaps only when I absolutely needed it? I needed it, I knew.

My mother seemed to be under the same problem as me, the jump in emotions once out of Jasper's influence seeming to confuse and drain her. She was very angry with me. Her anger was often a silent kind. She rarely rose her voice at me. I remembered the day, which seemed years ago, when she snapped and broke the glass on the floor. But that certainly felt like years ago, and I was confident she would use the same tactics as she did before I started public school, to shame me. Start out with perfect indifference, don't give me the time of day. Then, slowly give me disgusted glances, and perhaps mutter something under her breath, something I would never quite catch, but understood the gist of. After that, she would go into a detailed explanation of exactly what I did wrong, and then insult my intellect, leaving me bruised. To wrap up the entire strategic package, she expected a full verbal recital of what I would not do wrong next time.

It always worked. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her glance at me, her lips drawn into a tight pink line, and three lines between her turned her eyes to the road, and shook her head dismally.

Yes, it was only the beginning. I wished for Jasper.

_x_

_-x-I couldn't take the embrace of a real romance-x-_

_x_

"Cannot believe you," she muttered, turning the wheel sharply. "Of all the things _you_ could have done..."

I bowed my head properly in disgrace, as was expected.

I tried to turn my thoughts to other things, the most important thing at the moment. The Cullens and Hales claiming that they were a family of vampires.

I tried to approach this impractical problem as logically as I could, and as fairly as was possible in a biased body. Ways it was possible; they didn't eat, as long as I had gone to a school. Of course, their unusual beauty was something you didn't see everyday- or ever. Their odd behavior. Edwards mind-reading. Alice's seer abilities. Jasper's empathetic abilities.

All things that went completely against nature... _Was the entire world going completely insane, or was it just myself?_

Even though I had at least a half dozen ways of it being true, it was completely overpowered by the fact that I was willing to stake my life- or at least, something else very important, on vampires being nothing but mythical creatures.

Nothing without a heart beat was considered living. _Their the walking dead, Grace- what are you getting at, here?_

_x_

_-x-I'm much better off the way things are-x-_

_x  
_

I narrowed my eyes.

Nothing living or dead could sustain life on consuming blood._ But they do._

I groaned, and my mothers eyes snapped to mine again.

"Silence. I don't want to hear a word until I give you permission to speak."

I felt a sinking dread that I wouldn't be going over to the Cullen-Hales'. My mother may have a lightened heart when Alice was around- and Jasper, by force, she still did not like him much, do to him snubbing her at the hospital the last time I was there- but she would darken when she was with me. Her motherly instincts would suffocate everything else down.

Our house was there under the gray cloud cover, and it began to drizzle. The weather matched my mood. I felt a depression that I hadn't before. I missed him.

"Lunch will be served in half an hour. You will not eat it," she answered. "You may have a glass of water."

To stay hydrated, I knew.

_x_

_-x-And if you chalk it up, you'll see I don't really have a choice-x-_

_x_

I went upstairs, and sat on my bed, attempting to down myself in my own despair. Things had changed so much since I had began public school, and I didn't like most of the changes.

My wrist had a dull ache in it, the medication that they had given me at the hospital wearing off. I wished for Vicodin.

I pulled off my clothes apathetically, and showered. I didn't remember the shower, much, but once I was standing on the tile floor, cold and dripping wet, I knew I had showered.

I dressed in clothes that were black and white, because it was a fitting analogy of exactly how the world wasn't being. Nothing was what I thought it was, and I was about to face the one women who could still make me cry, even after fourteen years of living with her.

She was sitting at the opposite end of the table. She didn't stare at me, but down at her plate. It seemed we were still in the indifferent stage.

There was a glass of water in front of me. I took a sip every time she took a bite of her food- salad _(I had a craving for vinegar..)_ or a drink of her own water.

_x_

_-x-So keep on calling me names, keep on... keep on-x-_

_x_

"I'm so embarrassed because of you," she said, shaking her head. Tears rushed to my eyes, angry tears.

Malicious thoughts filled my head. _Of course_ I embarrassed her. That's all I ever did, correct, wasn't it? _Embarrass her_. Point my toes incorrectly in ballet. Mispronounce a word in German. Get the sentence structure wrong in French. Make a wrong diagnoses in Psychology. _I was just a child of faults._

"_What did you just say? What-_" She hissed at me. My glass clanked noisily as I sat it down on the table, quickly, startled.

"Beg pardon?" I mumbled, honestly confused.

"Repeat yourself! _And don't you _ever_ int_-"

"_I did!_" My fist hit the table. " And I did it _again!_ _What will you do about it?!_" I shouted, putting my head in my hands, as sobs wracked my small frame. I felt humiliated at my shameful lack of control, but found there was such a release of tension in my shoulders that it was astonishing.

Her silence shocked me, so I poured it all out of my system. My anger at her never appreciating me. My fury at her pushing me so hard, even when I was tired enough as it was. The fact I resented her for being my teacher first, my mother second.

By the time I was done shouting at her, my eyes were so blurred I could hardly tell up from down, my hair was mussed from pulling at it, and my water had been knocked over from my fist slamming down upon the table one too many times.

_x_

_-x-So keep on calling me names... I'll keep kicking the crap till it's gone-x-_

_x_

And she still sat, silent.

Her hands sat lamely in her lap, as she watched my fury for once, out do hers. I wondered if I had looked the way she did, the one time she had ever really snapped, and broke the glass.

I realized she was crying a few minutes after my own tears had stopped, and I instantly felt the anger inside myself morph into guilt, as she cried silently, glaring at her plate like a child who had been told she would get no dessert.

"I-I... I never m-," my hands floundered, until they found a very safe spot in my lap.

"No," she answered firmly, her voice unaffected by tears. I winced. All hopes of going out tonight, were gone. I had done something completely unforgivable. I'd screamed at my mother- accused her of numerous sins which had seemed larger in the heat of the moment.

Honor thy father, and thy mother. _Where had that rule, gone?_

_x_

_-x-As soon as I settle, I bet I'll be able to move on-x-_

_x  
_

"No, you're... _correct_."

My head snapped up, giving me whiplash, and it was all I could do to simply stare at her in blatant shock.

"What were some of the names you called me? Neglectful? _Pushy?_ You have so many more to add to the list, Grace. So many more," she murmured.

What had Lacey called me? Once more it slipped my mind, coming back again almost instantly. _Bitch._

The water on the table dripped off, slightly, creating a small puddle on the floor.

"I'm a liar," she whispered, and it hung in the air between us, tangible in the air.

"I lied to you, for so many years, Gracey," I was shocked at the name. She hadn't called me that since I was a little girl of six, and when she probably had hopes that I would forget her ever being so sentimental.

"What do you mean?"

"Your father."

I waited for her to collect herself, and pondered over that word. My father, yes? What about him? Died by a drunk driver when I was seven months old. Had brown hair, blue eyes. Tall man, kind of lanky, but handsome. _What about him?_

"Grace," she struggled for words. "There are things I never told you. When you were little, I convinced myself that it was something you wouldn't understand, and something that would only burden you if you knew... But-" she faltered, and stared down at her hands again, refusing to meet my eyes. "But now, I think you should know."

I felt dread close my throat. What? What was it? Was it some terrible secret that would rip us apart? I loved my mother, no matter what. I shouldn't have yelled at her, I thought suddenly. She was still crying.

"Your father and I never married, Grace."

I let out a confused noise from the back of my throat, but she held up a hand for silence.

"No. Let me speak," she pleaded. I silently nodded. Yes, explain.

_x_

_-x-I wouldn't know what to say to a gentle voice, it'd roll right past me-x-_

_x_

"I was young, and stupid then. Hot-headed, and a risk taker. My parents didn't keep a close reign over me, they let me run rampant. They hardly payed my ways any attention- and that was what I strived for. Their _attention_. Nothing I did seemed to work, until finally one night... I met your father. He was... charming. _Very_ charming. A nice guy, chivalrous. The perfect man I figured that I could take advantage of..."

She trailed off and stared at me critically.

"Are you understanding my words, Grace? Or must I spell it out for you..."

I blushed slightly, and tilted my head downward before she could tell it was there. She had seduced my father. I winced inwardly at the words, it made my mother sound like a... a common _whore_.

"It was a one night stand, and I never knew him outside of then. I don't even remember his name, Grace. The friend who was with me took our picture that night.. before- and I burnt it a few ago- after you saw it. I can hardly remember his face, even now... I was stupid, and I..." she trailed off here, as though she refused to say what she originally was going to say. "I refuse to let you do the same. When my parents found out I was pregnant, they legally disowned me, and then they died. They died of a house fire, before we ever made up... and I just, didn't want it to happen to you."

_x_

_-x-I'm much better off the way things are, much better if, better by far, by far-x-_

_x_

She finished, casting me a pleading look.

"I figured that.. if I pushed you in the ways I had never been pushed, and if I kept you close, that perhaps you would never stray down the path that I had."

She stood from the table, and walked towards me. She tracked through the puddle that had grown steadily on the floor.

She grabbed my chin gently, and tilted my face towards her, and when she looked at me, I figured that I was glad that I had looked like her. She was very pretty. Was I that pretty? What did Jasper think of me?

"You claim that I'm not proud of you- but it's the exact opposite. I'm _so_ proud of you," she said fiercely. "You've accomplished things that I never dreamed a child could- and you aren't even a child anymore. You're a young woman- but Gracey... I just tried to squash out the defiance in you. I didn't want you to turn out like me. Pregnant, and homeless when you were eighteen."

"I'm sorry," I choked out, and she drug me out my chair to do something she'd never really done before- she hugged me. I grinned against her shoulder, somehow finding everything hysterically horrible, and realized that there was a noise in the background, something that hadn't been there before...

The doorbell.

"Alice," I gasped, and slowly pulled away, reluctant. There was so much to say. I wouldn't turn out like her. I wouldn't have a baby out of wedlock- in the back of my mind, I wondered if vampires could have children, but shoved this thought away, laughing slightly inside my head. My mothers eyes were wary of my reaction to her story, but at my gentle smile, she knew that this didn't change things for the worse. I had never needed a father. Nothing had changed.

"Go greet our guest," she murmured. "I need to clean up the water."

I gave her a bashful look, and hesitated, until she shooed me away.

I answered the door grinning like a fool, and Alice was smiling sweetly at me. Her arms slid unexpectedly around my shoulders- we were the same height- and she hugged me. She was freezing.

"I'm so happy for you," she said into my hair. I felt a little uncomfortable with the close contact- I hadn't initiated it. Friend or not- I didn't really like to be touched, so. As suddenly as they were there, the feelings disappeared. Jasper.

My hungry eyes sought him out, but in the- _yellow Porsche?_- that was sitting in my driveway, was no one... I frowned, dejectedly.

"Hello Alice," my mother greeted. Her eyes were fresh and green, and held no trace she had been crying. She gave me a small smile, and welcomed both me and Alice into the house.

_x_

_-x-Better by far, by far-x-_

_x_

**

* * *

**

_Author: I'm a little wary. Don't think that the mother will become a darling little saint- mother of the year, because she won't. She will be just as pushy. Nothing has changed, I just turned the light on, a little. Now they won't be bumbling around in the dark, and neither will you, dear reader.  
_

_The song was called "The Way Things Are"._

_Review, pretty, pretty please?  
_

_-x-Ebony-x-_


	13. Carrion

_Disclaimer: Please refer to chapter twelve, and then eleven, and then ten, and then nine, and then eight, and then seven, and then six, and then five, and then four, and then three, and then two, in which you will then refer to chapter one.  
_

_Author: ----A little fourteen year old girl sat, her eyes heavy with exhaustion, and her lips curling downward into a frown that seemed always present on her face. _

_She went through the motions- motions she was rusty of, nowadays. She hadn't gotten on this particular fanfiction name in many days. _

_She saw that one fanfiction in particular had more reviews than when she had left, so many days ago... Clicking upon them, she felt a smile flicker on her lips, until she was downright laughing hysterically._

_"Ebony, what are you doing?" A man called from a chair across the room. Ebony just grinned evilly, beginning to type furiously._

_"Apparently, keeping people from finishing thirty-page essays. Gosh- you think I'll ever have to write an essay that long? Never mind. Don't speak of it again, you'll jinx me..." The girl knocked on wood, just to be safe. __----  
_

_Dedicated to juniper294 and laurenmlbc- for practically dragging me back by the roots of my twenty three inch hair. I owe you many a thanks. _

_My excuse, friends, for being gone so long? Bad health, and a little bout of depression. Don't worry. Be happy. _

_Jasper commands it.  
_

_To Luna- patience is a virtue you were blessed with._

_**WARNING: SHITTY CHAPTER. PLEASE, PLEASE FORGIVE ME... I'M WRITING AS YOU READ THIS.**  
_

_

* * *

_Chapter Thirteen: Carrion

_x_

_-x-Won't do no good to hold no seance, what's gone is gone, and you can't bring it back around__-x-_

_x_

The room was very quiet, even though the three of us were sitting in it. My upbringing kept me from breaking the silence, by even breathing too loud. My hands were folded in my lap. My mother was staring at Alice, smiling. Alice was staring back- smiling too. I was breaking their pattern, staring firmly at my hands, and biting my tongue in my nervous state.

"Where are my daughters manners today, Alice? Would you like some tea?"

I flinched a little. I found myself mildly annoyed, despite her story earlier. I had hoped perhaps that her seeing how far she was pushing me would help her let up.

Obviously not.

But I looked up at Alice, and rose an eyebrow, wondering if vampires could eat or drink.. _human_ things. It felt so odd that I should even be wondering of such a thing. How many other humans in the world, wondered such things? But then again, I had never had the luxury of being considered _normal_.

"No thank you ma'am."

"I_ insist_."

I felt a brief tendril of anger snake up through my gut. Perhaps I had anger issues? I flicked this thought of with even more annoyance. Why did my mother have to take her pushiness out on Alice, of all people?

"If you truly do, then I can't refuse," Alice said, and she sent a reassuring smile my way. I was sure that if my mother saw it, she wouldn't understand it for what it was. She rarely did anything to reassure me- or anyone, despite her unusual liking of Alice Cullen.

I jerked from my chair, wincing at ungraceful I was- in present company, and walked quickly to the kitchen to put a kettle of water on. I chewed my fingernails- on my left hand, my right still being occupied by plaster. I was hoping that whatever was taking place in the dining room was Alice using her conniving powers on my mother. Why wasn't Jasper here? Couldn't he use his power to manipulate straight through her, like at the hospital?

Or did I just want him here, for my own selfish purposes?

_x_

_-x-Won't do no good to hold no searchlight, you can't illuminate what time has anchored down__-x-_

_x_

I smiled a little, and tried to listen to the conversation happening in the dining room. I couldn't make out much of it, through the thick oak door.

"...my father says..."

"...nothing? Are you..."

"...wait and see, but..."

"...will I tell her?"

"No, my father is planning to break it to her as easy as he can. He's very sure that she will want all the statistics."

Nothing helpful there. But they were keeping something from me, it was obvious in the hushed tone that they were both talking in. I figured that if it was anything important, I would know it eventually. The water was boiling, and I poured it into the appropriate cups. I made my mother chamomile. Me and Alice would receive mint.

I walked in with the tray, and Alice gave me a breath taking smile. My mother seemed a little shakier than when I'd left, but nodded as I sat it down in front of her, and took one of the flower designed tea cups. She inhaled softly, before taking a long sip.

Alice took her cup and murmured a thanks, before taking a long sip. I watched her with a little amusement. Her sip was a little _too_ long, but she smiled at me again, and sat her cup down. I saw with ice in my stomach that her cup was already empty. It was odd that such a thing would frighten me. But it did. It was just a reminder of how inhuman she really was.

_x_

_-x-Oh honey I've gone away, gone away-x-_

_x_

I stared with wide eyes, and she winked again, grinning.

I took my cup with shaky hands, and took small sips, closing my eyes, letting the mint wash over me.

"I suppose your plans haven't changed, and you want my Grace to... spend the night at your home?" I didn't like how she called me her Grace. It was always something that had irritated me. Maybe if I exploded on her again-

thank goodness Alice interrupted such a thought. Note to self, look for healthy ways to take out anger.

"Yes, ma'am, if it was all right with you," Alice added. My mother nodded quickly.

"Yes, that's alright, as long as..." she trailed off, raising an eyebrow at Alice.

"My brothers have gone camping, ma'am. They won't be a problem," Alice said. I felt a little disappointment in my stomach. Jasper wasn't going to be there? I sighed into my cup, but took another sip to mask the sound. My mother glanced at me, but I pretended that I was very interested in the floral pattern on the china.

Alice sipped out of the empty cup, once, twice. I bit my cheek to keep from grinning at her charade. I liked this game, it was very entertaining. Maybe if my mother had let me go to public school earlier, I could have met the Cullen's earlier.

"Will she need anything?"

"Oh, no. We have everything and more, ready for her." Alice said. She took yet another sip.

"Then by all means," she waved a hand towards the door. "You can finish you tea, of course."

Alice scooted the empty cup forward, wearing a perfect mask of bashfulness.

"It was delightful, I'll have to ask Grace to teach me how to make it myself. My mother, Esme, enjoys tea," Alice said, pushing her chair back.

I felt awed. My mother had just been completely played, and if I hadn't of been in on the entire thing, I would have been just as taken.

"Goodbye mother," I murmured as we ducked out of the room.

"Goodbye, Grace," she said back, nodding her head.

_x_

_-x-Won't do no good to go no distance, the space between us is as boundless as the dark__-x-_

_x_

I don't think I really came back down from my amazement, until I was sitting in the front seat of Alice's Porsche, where I began to laugh incredulously. I buckled my seat belt, and folded my hands gently in my lap.

I turned my eyes to Alice, who was grinning like the cat who caught the canary, and already pulling quickly out of the driveway, and towards the side of Forks where the woods resided.

"Alice, I think your phenomenal! You really convinced her!"

"Alice? She didn't do half of that," Jasper said from the back seat, effectively startling me. I placed a hand over my racing heart, trying to calm it physically.

"Jasper you frightened me," I said. He smiled, sitting up from the uncomfortable laying position he had been forced to contort to in the back seat. He sent out soothing emotions until my heart was beating sluggishly, and I felt a little tired. But a tired smile was on my lips. Jasper was here. I watched in the side mirror until my house faded from the view completely, before I felt safe enough to talk more.

I instantly went into question mode.

"Alice, what were you speaking with my mother about, when I was gone getting you tea?"

"Tea?" Jasper asked from the back. "Is that what took you so long?"

Alice winced.

"Yes, she wouldn't let up. I'll have to purge it all up when we get home," she turned her eyes to me.

It didn't escape my attention, her evasiveness towards my question.

"Did I drink it too fast? I figured that downing it all as quickly as I could would make it easier to taste... I haven't drank anything other than blood since Emmett told me that I couldn't drink an entire case of human liquor in an hour. The... viscosity startled me. It all just..." she made a smooth hand motion. "Slid down my throat."

I bit my lip to keep from laughing- her little face looked disgusted, and I figured if she didn't find it funny, then I shouldn't either.

Jasper laughed though, and that made me feel a little better about finding it so hilarious. Or was it just my emotions influencing him?

Alice glared at him.

"I'll get my revenge Jasper Whitlock. Edward won't be pleased to know you laughed at my suffering," she said, smirking, her eyes looking a little dazed.

"Defending your honor, is he?" Jasper asked teasingly.

"That's right."

"If he comes anywhere near me, I'll make him feel so confused his head will spin."

_x_

_-x-And all I want is to save you, honey or the strength to walk away__-x-_

_x_

I chuckled quietly into my hand, feeling a little left out of the conversation, but definitely amused by their sibling-like antics. They really pulled off that role well.

While we rode, I subtly took in all the details of her car. I had never ridden in a vehicle other than my mothers. Everything was new, and interesting.

The trees on the side of the road blurred into a long line of green and brown, we were going so fast. I couldn't feel anxious though, with Jasper in the car. He kept all my emotions in check.

The house came out of the darkness of the woods, as a bright, tall figure. It was beautiful, and I had expected no less for the Cullen-Hales.

Maybe I had expected different for vampires, but I would never admit it aloud, and I blushed to think of the way I had misjudged them. It was quite embarrassing, that I still had such a cliche problem of judging people so easily.

"Enter at your own risk," Alice said jokingly. I smiled a little, unsure of how to respond. Indeed, I suppose I was the little mouse entering a den of snakes. Nice snakes, but snakes, all the same.

_x_

_-x-Won't do no good to go no distance, the space between us is as boundless as the dar__k-x-_

_x  
_

* * *

_Author: Hated this chapter, with a passion, but simply wanted you folks to know that I'm back.  
_

_The song, in this chapter, was "Carrion".  
_

_-x-Ebony-x-_


	14. I Know

_Disclaimer: Please refer to chapter thirteen, then twelve, then eleven, then ten, then nine, then eight, then seven, then six, then five, then four, then three, then two, in which you will then refer to chapter one.  
_

_Author: I'm a little pleased with this chapter. Just a little. I'm sorry to all the people I keep up until the early morning, but it is horrible if I say that whenever I hear that, I grin insanely? Thanks for sticking with me, dear friends. _

_This is chapter fourteen, because the last thing I posted was just a little message saying I was back and still kicking._

_Sorry if Alice is OOC. She isn't to _me_.  
_

_To Luna, who is a firm believer of my sanity.  
_

* * *

Chapter Fourteen: I Know

_x_

_-x-I will pretend that I don't know yours sins-x-_

_x_

I found the Cullen home large, beautiful, and rather similar to what I figured it would look like. It mirrored their want of freedom. Their lack of satisfaction with life. Their differences with others. It almost mirrored _me._

Had I not been shackled by my mother? Had I not been tossed into this ocean full of sharks ready to eat me _(I ignored the pun)_, and found only dissatisfaction? I had, to both questions.

Just as we entered the house, it began to rain outside, little teardrops of angels falling and creating pretty patterns on the many windows that were everywhere. The forest just outside misted green, and the world was a parade of little drops- the sound of them on the glass background noise.

Esme and Carlisle heard us coming up the drive, I figured, and were there to greet us. Esme smiled warmly, and my lips twitched upward in a smile that felt a little unfamiliar. I was so unused to smiling this much. Smiling at people at school. Smiling at Jasper. Smiling at all of the Cullen's. Smiling at Jasper the most, though. Smiling at the thought of him, even. I had so rarely smiled when it was just me and my mother.

My life seemed sheltered and pathetic compared to this, this _openness_.

Carlisle reached out with his hand, and I thought it was at first to shake mine- but then I saw he was holding a prescription medicine bottle, my Vicodin. I smiled- _again_- appreciatively, and tilted my head, silently asking for permission. My wrist ached and my head felt heavy from crying so much earlier. Carlisle nodded, and left to get me a glass of water.

I could have dry-swallowed them, but now that he was going through the effort of getting me a glass, I would have to wait.

_x_

_-x-And you can use my skin to bury secrets in-x-_

_x_

Alice took the jacket I had thrown on earlier and hung it up, her eyes scanning up and down my form, making me a little uncomfortable. She was looking at my clothes as though appraising them.

I was simply wearing a green blouse, a pair of blue-jeans, and whit tennis shoes. I looked very plain next to people like the Cullen's, and I was very aware of it.

Carlisle was back with a glass of ice water, and I popped the pills into my mouth before taking the water from his hand, and drinking it. I remembered Alice drinking my mothers tea, and snorted into my drink.

Choking with laughter, I quickly moved the glass away from me, and struggled to compose myself and try to scrape my dignity off the floor. They must have thought I was insane. Years of being alone with one person could do that to someone.

Jasper chuckled next to me, perhaps at my mortified feelings.

Carlisle smiled at Jasper, and then motioned towards the couch, a serious look on his face.

I frowned, and sat next to Jasper, discreetly looking to see if there was a coaster on the coffee table. There was none. _Why would they need one, anyway?_

Jasper took my glass, and suddenly, like a flickering film, was gone and back in the same spot. If I blinked, I would have missed it. I jumped ever so slightly, but tried not to show it. I was sure they could all feel the hammering of my heart in my chest, though. I was glad I wasn't a someone keen on blushing. Carlisle began to speak.

"Grace, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm afraid that there is something I didn't quite tell you at the hospital."

My breath caught. Jasper sent calming waves.

"Something you didn't tell me." _Just confirming it._

"Yes..." A brief pause. No noise. The house was pristine, quite- I was thankful for the raindrops that beat against the roof and walls. White noise.

"I'm sorry to say that you arm has suffered irreparable damage."

My head tilted, ice freezing my insides, and dread twisting the icy crystals all around each other. Goosebumps rose on my arms, at the unexpectedness of it. My scalp prickled.

Is this how other people joked with each other? I had heard other students at school joking with each other. It was crude and often vicious. My mother had never joked.

"Amputation is... unavoidable."

"You're going to cut off my arm?" My voice was unnaturally high, and I winced at the stupid question. Of course, that's what he said, you idiot.

"The nerve damage simply can't be fixed. The bones are pulverized-"

Jasper next to me glanced away, and rested his chin on his hand- his elbow on his knee. He was hunched over, his tall figure reduced to my own height. He wouldn't look at me.

"When?"

"There are some medications that could buy you time, but only a few weeks at the most."

"Oh." I was not satisfied with the answer, but it was all my startled mind could come up with.

I turned my head towards the windows, and at the sight of the rain, felt like crying a little myself. Traitorous tears pricked my eyes. No ballet- who would want me without an arm? I would be seen as a cripple for the rest of my life. People would open doors for me. Pity me. Frown at me.

As if I wasn't an outcast enough, let's remove a limb and see how well I fair.

I felt like a daddy-long-leg. Once, I had read something in a psychology book. That some children pull the legs off of the spiders, just to see what they will do.

Was God simply doing the same thing, with me as the unfortunate spider? _Blasphemy... Don't think like that..._

_x_

_-x-And amidst the bitterness, I hope you'll consider this, even if it don't make sense-x-_

_x  
_

"I'm sorry if I ruined your stay here," Carlisle said, his lips turned down into a frown. "It really wasn't my intention. Your Vicodin will keep the pain away- as long as you take reasonable amounts, on scheduled times."

_So you don't overdose like a foolish drug-addicted idiot, and become a statistic._

I guess I deserved that.

"You didn't ruin my stay," I murmured out of politeness. I didn't quite know if it was the truth. I looked down at my cast covered arm, and furrowed my eyebrows, trying to imagine how it would feel without it there.

How would it feel to try to move my fingers? Pop knuckles that weren't even there anymore? Would I walk towards doors and stick my right arm out in an attempt to open it only to find out that there was nothing there to open it with?

Suddenly, Alice was there. I hadn't even realized that she had left. Had she used some form of super speed that my human eyes couldn't follow?

She held out an icy hand, and wrapped it around my hot one.

"We'll be in my room. No influence Jasper, do you understand me? Edward wants to see you in, by the way."

Jasper groaned softly in displeasure, and walked quickly towards the stairs, disappearing up them quickly, like cat. He was so beautiful. So deadly. I was _so_ going to hell.

Alice tugged me up the stairs after her 'brother'- me in a haze- until we were in a room that was large, spacious, with the eastern wall made only of glass. It would be beautiful, during sunrises. But I preferred the sunsets I watched from my window, and sometimes my yard, at home. When you could actually see the sun in Forks, it was really quite spectacular.

Alice let me take a seat on a purple arm chair, and she sat in one across from me. I found she mimicked me stance of hands in lap, ankles crossed.

I wondered how old she was.

"Not so old, honestly. Not as old as Jasper."

"Are you _sure_ you aren't a mind reader?"

Alice smiled, flashing her teeth. "Quite sure. You thought of asking me, and I saw you asking. I simply answered- sorry if it caught you off guard. I tend to do that with my family-"

_Something I wasn't._

"- but if it unsettles you, I could keep it under control..."

"It's fine."

A brief pause.

"You're scared."

My mouth opened to deny this, but found I honestly couldn't. Her hand came up to silence me.

"It's true. Jasper can feel it. It makes him nervous, and scared in turn. What are you scared of? Loosing your arm? Us? The fact we're vampires?"

I couldn't answer, because perhaps it was a mixture of all three, and she didn't give me time to.

"I love Jasper."

My head tilted in confusion, but she barreled on.

"Like a brother- And he's enamored with you. I think he has been since he first saw you in school. I have to ask. How do you feel about him?"

_x_

_-x-And if it gets too late for me to wait, for you to say you love me-x-_

_x_

Enamored? My goodness, it was so fast.. so... _wanted_. But I found myself unaccustomed to the ignorance I felt. I knew how I felt about him- _at least, I was pretty sure I did_- but I didn't know the first thing about how to hold a relationship with a normal guy, much less a vampire!

I would mess up. I would move too fast or too slow for his liking. I would say the wrong things, do the wrong things... _Oh Heaven help me- what was I getting into?_ Red lights flashed in my head, but I tried hard to keep my exterior cool. Deep breaths. Think.

I decided I would go out on a limb. I could handle whatever came my way. I had handled being fed to proverbial sharks, attacked by a thirsty vampire, and jumping from a second story window. I was not a child, at least, in my mind. Perhaps physically I was only fourteen, but I had grown up. I would handle things as they came.

"I like him. A _lot_."

I cringed at how childish it sounded, but it was as far as I was willing to go at the moment. Was this really the right moment to be talking about all of this? I wasn't so sure.

"Then what's the problem?"

"Could you be more specific?"

"I mean, why are you two beating around the bush with your relationship?"

"I'm fourteen, I don't know how serious a relationship I should be getting into."

I hated that about me. Hated that I was so logical. Sensible. How I understood pros and cons.

I was still so young compared to Jasper.

"How do you feel?"

I sighed and looked to my left, out the window. Trying to avoid Alice's eyes. She was playing match maker. But then again, I didn't trust myself to begin to understand the motives of other people.

"Part of me wants to overlook my age, but there's another part-" _a more realistic one_, my mind said,"- that knows that I can't overlook it. How old is Jasper?"

"He fought in the Civil War. Let's leave it at that." She smiled at me. An astonished laugh came from my throat.

"My goodness, the stories he must have..."

"Indeed, I'm sure he'll tell you some, if you ask. There's a lot of him you don't know."

I was rudely brought back to reality.

"That's another thing, I don't know anything about Jasper, and he doesn't know anything about me!"

Suddenly, Alice stopped looking at me, glaring towards the wall at our left. She hissed something in a different language. Or maybe it was simply to fast for me to follow.

Suddenly, she looked back to me, her eyes filled with mischief and knowledge, a look I felt I would grow accustomed to seeing on her face. She was a seer after all- was she not?

"Well, here's a question... How do you feel about shopping?"

_x_

_-x-It's okay you don't need to say it...__-x-_

_x_

* * *

_Author: Sorry, was that a cliffhanger? Next chapter coming soon to a theater- or computer- near you suggestions, comments, and please don't flame, thanks!  
_

_The song was "I Know"._

_-x-Ebony-x-_


	15. Bridge Over Troubled Water

_Disclaimer: Please refer to chapter fourteen, then thirteen, then twelve, then eleven, then ten, then nine, then eight, then seven, then six, then five, then four, then three, then two, in which you will then refer to chapter one._

_Author: I'm ashamed of how horrible my home state (That's Illinois, folks) did in basketball. They have shamed us!! Please accept this chapter as an offering of thanks for the reviews you've all given. I literally wrote this entire thing in a thirty minutes, so I'm sorry if you don't like it much. I love it, though.  
_

_To Luna- Come here often?? **-Occasionally :) **Well, how about we meet here every now and then, hm?  
_

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: Bridge Over Troubled Water

_x_

_-x-When you're weary, and feeling small-x-_

_x  
_

"We're going shopping, no, you can't come."

Alice had me hooked around the arm, as though we were lovers in some old film. She breezed past Jasper and Edward heard were sitting on the love seat with intense faces, me more trying to mimic the grace she held. I didn't exude my name the way she did.

"Why are you taking her shopping?" Jasper asked.

"She's never been shopping before. There is a first time for everything. It's a girl thing Jasper, I wouldn't expect for you to understand, even after a few centuries," she teased back, putting on a white jacket that matched her skin better than it should have.

"What if her mother calls?"

"She won't."

"Are you sure?"

Alice looked astounded. "Are you doubting me?"

"Touche."

"Exactly, Grace has questions, I don't want you to influence her answers." Alice pressed her lips to Edward's forehead, making him grin up at her, before hooking arms with me again and dragging me out of the house (away from Jasper, is what my mind noticed) and towards her yellow Porsche.

I was anxious for the new experience of shopping. I had already asked Alice if many people went to the Port Angeles mall, and how crowded it would be. She told me that everything would be fine.

By her answer, I was unsure.

I buckled my seat belt carefully, and watched the Cullen house disappear in the rear view mirror, just like I had watched my own home.

I felt my bottle of Vicodin cutting into my thigh from my jean pocket.

Alice flicked on the radio, and turned it to a more modern station, before relaxing into her seat, and letting her eyes flicker to me and then back to the road.

"Go ahead and ask your questions."

"Beg pardon?"

"The questions, I know you have them. You can't not have them- I mean, it wouldn't be natural. Pick one out of the metaphorical hat and ask, I'll answer."

I nodded, and turned my thoughts inward, trying to figure out which question was most important.

_x_

_-x-I'm on your side when times get tough-x-_

_x_

"Why did you tell me your secret?"

Alice smiled and made a sharp turn, jostling me in my seat. The girl drove so much faster than my mother, it was almost comical.

"Well, it'd be best to start at the very beginning. In the beginning..."

She paused here, turning to grin at me, silently questioning if I got the reference. I smiled, feeling bubbles of laughter in my throat.

"The first three words of the bible, very clever."

She shook her head, her eyes closing in dismay.

"That's another thing we're doing today- I'm going to break off the collar that your mother still has tied around your neck, and your going to loosen up. Anyway- me and my family don't feed off of humans, as you know. But things weren't always like that, with all of us. Jasper fed off of humans for decades, before we converted him, and he's the one that struggles the most with our lifestyle."

I nodded. Understandable.

"Blood isn't just a drug to us, humans don't _need_ drugs when they're born. They don't come from the womb smoking weed and shooting up in McDonald's bathrooms, but to us... It's _necessary_. You find ways to tell yourself that killing a few people's alright, after all, humans kill animals, right? Is it any different?"

Rhetorical, I was sure. I saw no need to answer.

"Of course it was different, and the fact that you don't just want the blood, you _need_ it, makes it twice as hard for vampires to switch sides, than humans to detox. Jasper struggles everyday with not killing any humans. The day he met you in class, we got lucky. I saw the vision a few moments before everything happened."

She grimaced, her little hands shifting on the wheel, looking out the windshield rather than at me.

"If I hadn't intervened, things wouldn't have been pretty. Not at all. I can promise you would have lost your arm a lot sooner, including various other limbs."

I shuddered, my eyes wide like saucers, and tried to sink back in my seat.

She smiled grimly.

"You had no idea, and I got there in time. It's the past- not even the past really, because it didn't even happen. There's no need to dwell on it now. When we brought Jasper home, it was a montage of questions, lectures, stories.. He wanted to know everything about you that he could. That night, I believe Edward spent the night outside your second story window-"

I make a choking sound, and then quickly bit my tongue, hoping that she wasn't angry that I interrupted her story.

"Are you okay?" she asked. I nodded a little, feeling violated that the mind reader had spent the night outside my house. I tried to remember what I had done that night. Nothing extraordinary, because I couldn't remember it.

"Go on," I mumbled.

"Well, Edward came back, and told us that you were very sheltered, and a prodigy. Jasper asked a lot of questions, and it made it obvious how curious he was. Perhaps morbidly curious. Like-"

_x_

_-x-I will lay me down, like a bridge over troubled water-x-_

_x_**  
**

She stopped, and sighed, before continuing. I would always wonder what she would have said.

"We had plans to move, but they were overthrown by Rosalie, she was very angry, you understand. We ended up staying. No one wanted Jasper to go to school the next day, but he did."

She suddenly laughed, startling me. I hit my head against the window, and hissed, leaning forward, rubbing the spot with my uninjured hand. She looked at me apologetically.

"I'm so sorry- I was just remembering you getting in that little... _dispute_ with Lacey Davies. It was hilarious, but I have to say, she was about to take a swing at you. She would have broken your nose, and that would have set off something a little like Texas Chain Saw Massacre, with Jasper, do you understand?"

"Not quite, sorry. Texas Chain Saw Massacre?"

She looked at me with wide eyes.

"That's the first movie I'm showing you when we get home," she shook her head sadly. I simply shook my head in astonishment, this girl was really quite insane. I sort of liked it.

"You're hilarious, Grace. It's like watching some movie where some little girl from the twenties is thrown into the future- you get into so many comical arguments!"

"If you say so," I murmured, smiling a little. I didn't find it all that hilarious.

"Really, it's what drew Jasper to you. He liked the spunk in you, and you reminded him of earlier times. Then you_ had_ to go and be on the Confederate side of the American Civil War- you might as well have worn a neon pulsing sign around your neck to attract Jasper to you- you remember I told you Jasper was on that side, and fought for the Rebels?"

"Yes."

"Well, he liked it. He grew to admire you very quickly, and that was where the trouble started. You cut your finger."

I turned towards her now, realizing we were drawing closer and closer to the period of my memories which had been temporarily missing. I wanted to fill in the gaps.

"Jasper had been pacing for hours after school, thinking about you. Edward was translating his thoughts to me, and he told me that Jasper wanted to go to your house, to stay there, see if maybe he could... acclimate himself to you. I saw nothing wrong with it, and I looked-"

She looked at me, her eyes wide and pleading.

"- it isn't as if I trusted Jasper blindly, I looked into the future and saw nothing that would hurt you... so I told him it was alright, to go ahead, as long as he stayed outside the window, watching."

She shook her head sadly.

"He was at your house when it all went to hell."

_x_

_-x-When darkness comes around, and pain is all around, I'll be your bridge over troubled water-x_

_x_

I ignored her cursing, she made it sound elegant, and it added detail to the conversation.

"You rolled over it your sleep, and your band-aid came off. You're blood was spilled, and Jasper wasn't strong enough to resist it's call... I ran, Grace, faster than I had ever ran before- but by the time I got there, you were delirious. I can remember it much more clearly than you probably can."

"I remember that the things you both were saying made little sense..."

"Yes, Jasper was trying to convince me to let him have you, just kill you, and end it. I had seen so many good things, and seen first hand his feelings towards you. Do you remember when I finished a line of your prayer?"

Her eyes were sad, and I did remember. _And forgive those who've trespassed against us._

"I understand why it happened, Alice. He didn't do it on purpose- and I honestly do not believe that you _let _him do it. There's nothing to forgive."

She smiled sadly, and it hurt me to see her so upset about it.

"You might loose your arm, how can you forgive us?" She whispered, her voice loud in the car, though.

"_There is nothing to forgive_. I'm afraid I don't understand you- I _might _loose my arm?" I was going to loose my arm. Carlisle said so.

"That's later in the story- I have to go on. Anyway, me and Jasper argued over your body- goodness, the smell was intense," she inhaled as though she could still smell it. "Finally, he was pushed to the edge, and he jumped with you out the window. I honestly thought that it would all end. You're neck would be broken, when he jumped, with the speed he was moving- but your prayer continued, and I was glad it did."

I nodded, to urge her on.

"The rest of the family was coming, it had all happened so quickly! I tried to tell Jasper of how... good our life would be, with you in it- but he only got angry. He didn't see how you could be good for us. He only saw how you made his senses spin. But finally, he looked at you, and you could just see it in his eyes, that something in the night air had brought those lost sense back to him... He was horrified, and I finally managed to convince him to leave, spare you."

We turned, and I saw that we were in the parking lot, to the Port Angeles mall. Her insane driving was good for something.

"He leaned down- and for a moment I thought maybe I hadn't convinced him so well, that maybe he would kill you after all, but he only kissed your forehead, and then..."

She waved a hand, parking the car expertly.

"_That_ story is history."

I leaned my head back, trying to take this all in. It was so horrible. So terrifying. It created such emotion... I didn't know how to feel.

But did it change things, about Jasper?

Of course. He was strong enough not to kill me. He was a man enough to see his mistake, and try to fix it.

He was the reason I would loose my arm, though. (Or supposedly, might, I remembered Alice's words).

But I still liked him. It didn't change my feelings. I felt a little like things should have changed, though. That learning someone had tried to kill (and almost succeeded) should have made me hate him. But it didn't.

I couldn't hate him, or Alice.

I was only a little less ignorant.

_x_

_-x-See how they shine? Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind-x-_

_x_

* * *

_Authors Note: This chapter was intense for me to write, but don't worry, it isn't over yet. Only a little of the tale has been told. I hope you enjoyed it! _

_The song was called "Bridge Over Troubled Water"._

_-x-Ebony-x-_


	16. On The Bound

_Disclaimer: Please refer to chapter fifteen, then fourteen, then thirteen, then twelve, and then eleven, and then ten, and then nine, and then eight, and then seven, and then six, and then five, and then four, and then three, and then two, in which you will then refer to chapter one.  
_

_Author: Don't kill me, please. I could give excuses, but you'd much rather read the story, wouldn't you? Just know, that I'm trying to write! Not my favorite chapter, but it's not the worst. Enjoy._

_To Luna- for kicking my ass.  
_

_

* * *

_Chapter Sixteen: On the Bound

_x_

_-x-All my life is on me now, hail the turning pages__-x-_

_x_

Alice walked slightly ahead of me towards the entrance of the mall, so that she could make it to the doors first. Instead of entering it, she turned around and pressed her back against it, arms opened wide, and a giant smile on her face.

She was stalling three teenage boys in baggy shorts that were about to enter, but they seemed content to be stalled, and were staring at Alice as if she was something to eat. If only they knew how much the roles were reversed.

"Grace Marie Amery. This is a day that will go down in history. The very first time you have ever set foot in a mall- my God, I'm so proud of you. I'd like to thank the Academy, and assure you that I will take care of you in all of your shopping needs-"

The boys yelled something profane here, that made my cheeks heat up, but Alice continued on, ignoring them.

"-so, enter, and try not to faint, please!"

She thrust the door open (the boys were applauding her speech), and I entered as quickly as I could, my cheeks on fire. I wasn't usually someone who blushed, because I never had a reason to. The boys entered after us, and Alice held the door open. I smiled at such a kind display- something I was used to.

The mall was vast, and full of light. A large fountain was sitting directly at the entrance, choked with pennies and quarters and various other coins. Stores were left and right, and dead ahead in the center, a large neon sign proclaimed that a giant open area full of chairs and tables was the food court. People bustled left and right going about their business, of various cultures, and speaking different languages.

I could distinctly hear the harsh sounds of the German language every now and then.

"Are you hungry?" Alice asked, hooking her arm through mine. The contact felt odd, but friendly, and warm at the same time.

I shook my head, but asked bashfully "Would you mind letting me get some water somewhere?"

Alice shook her head, and motioned me to proceed.

_x_

_-x-And the future's on the bound, hell don't know my fury-x-_

_x_

I stared at the massive room full of people, and headed towards the food court. Weaving in an out of people. A man with a nose ring passed us talking angrily on his cellphone. A woman passed us with uncombed hair, and she seemed to be talking to no one at all. It wasn't until I was halfway there that I realized I had no money.

"Oh, never mind," I said, embarrassed.

"Keep walking. Your still thirsty," Alice replied, and she kept walking. "I'm paying."

I walked a little faster to catch up, refusals on the tip of my tongue.

"Alice, I couldn't let you pay-"

"For a bottle of water?"Alice finished, raising a black eyebrow. I blushed for some reason. She had the ability to make me feel like such a child. Well, she was much, much older than me.

"Here's the deal we'll make. I'll pay for anything you buy today, plus buy you things I think you'd look cute in, and get you food. In return- I get to dress you up. For eternity."

The way she tossed around those words (for eternity) made me a little unsettled. She meant them, I knew.

"I still couldn't possibly let you-"

"Grace. I'm rich. Decades of me being particularly... gifted with guessing changing stock numbers, playing the lottery a time or two, we're set for life. We have plenty of money to spend, it's no problem."

I smiled a little. I'm sure she was quite gifted in guessing such things.

"I still feel obliged, I'll pay you back, somehow."

"Whatever you say, Grace," Alice said, and I could tell she was only saying it to humor me. "Come on, you wanted water."

The girl behind the counter at McDonald's snapped her gum at us, and seemed to be in a daze.

"Can I help you?" She muttered.

"Yes, can I get a bottled water?"

"Is that is?"

"Yes."

The girl reached under the counter, and pulled out a bottle, sitting in on the counter.

"A buck thirty-nine."

_x_

_-x-And maybe some faith would do me good-x-_

_x_

Alice reached into her pocket without even looking, and pulled out a dollar and some change. She opened her hand and made a great show of pulling out the right amount of change (incidentally, all the coins she had pulled out came exactly to thirty-nine cents.), and we walked towards a booth for two, so I could drink it. Alice told me that food and drink wasn't allowed inside the stores.

"Now, there aren't that many exotic stores, but I can always order some things from Paris and Italy online, so that's good. Rosalie was kind enough to let me come along on her third honeymoon, to France, and see a rare fashion show with her, you know, you should definitely come with us on one of our trips."

I had listened politely to her rambling, nodding in the right places, until she stopped suddenly.

"Something on your mind?" she asked. I shook my head.

"No, go on."

"No- you ask your questions first," she asked, and leaned back in the booth. She snatched my bottle of water off the table, and opened it for me, because of my hurt arm. I smiled in thanks, before leaning back to think.

I felt bad about interrupting her (and she was always so enthusiastic, it seemed like such a crime), but asked a question that had been on my mind for a while, now.

"Why did you tell me your secret?" I asked, my voice low.

Alice seemed to think about it for a moment, before replying, and her words were chosen carefully, I could tell.

"You would have gained your lost memories of the night Jasper attacked you, eventually. I saw that if we hadn't have told you, it wouldn't have been healthy for you, mentally."

She paused, twice as hesitant.

"And, also, because- like I said, Jasper likes you. Jasper has been alone since he was born in 1845. I saw that this was his chance for... companion ship- friendship, or perhaps more."

She tacked on the last thing quickly, in response to something she had obviously seen, whether it be in the future, or on my face.

I nodded, taking another sip of my water bottle.

"Something you said earlier is still on my mind, as well. Something about my arm?" I trailed off.

"Oh, yes. Well, I don't really think I should be the one to tell you. You and Jasper should talk soon."

I hated the mystery. If there was some possibility of saving my arm, I wanted to know about it.

_x_

_-x-I don't know what I'm doing, don't know, should I change my mind?-x-_

_x_

"As a matter of fact, I see that you two will definitely be talking when we return home. After we shop, of course. We made a deal."

I nodded absentmindedly. I sipped at my water in silence for a while, until Alice accused me of stalling. I threw away my three quarters empty water bottle, and followed her towards the first place that she was headed.

Alice was strolling through the store as if she owned the place. I had never seen her look more at home than between two aisles of clothing. She was pulling out items, glancing them over, getting a misty eyed look, and either smiling in approval, or putting them back.

As she shopped, I thought. Of Jasper. What was I going to do about him? Was it foolish and naive, to begin a relationship with someone so much older? Alice's words were fresh. He'd been alone since _1845!_ He was almost 235 years old! There was so much to consider. I hardly knew him. But I felt connected to him. I'd never met someone before who understood such small, random things about me- that somehow made me feel less... abnormal.

But that side of me that was tied to reality rebelled. i was being stupid, it told me. A relationship with a two hundred thirty-five year old vampire wasn't realistic!

Finally, she had nearly a dozen items of clothing. She jarred me out of my melancholy thoughts, and pushed me towards a room in the back of the store. She called in a dressing room.

She pushed me into a smaller room, within the room, and and closed the door behind her. She hung up the clothes on a rack the was on the wall, leaving me standing there, feeling quite awkward, and wondering what in the world I was suppose to be doing.

"Strip," she said after a moment.

"Beg pardon?" I asked, shocked. Did she just ask me to _strip?_

"Of course! I mean, I can see how you look in my mind, but I need to see the clothes on your in person before I buy anything. Call me _OCD_- what, what is it?"

"Alice, I don't really feel... comfortable-"

She stared at me blankly, before bursting into laughter. My cheeks heated, and I struggled to reign in the feeling that it was me she was laughing at.

_x_

_-x-I can't decide, there's too many variations to consider-x-_

_x_

"Is there something funny?" I asked, taking deep quick breathes.

"Grace, I've seen you naked. In my head-"

My eyes widened in horror.

"It's not that I'm looking- I can't help what I see! I'm not some pervert, Grace. I'm really sorry though, I always forget that you're fourteen, and with your cast... I'll wait outside if you like. Try on the jeans first, with this-" she pointed to a yellow top. "Wear the belt."

It wasn't until after she left that I felt bad. Had I really accused her of being perverted? How could I think something like that about Alice? It was my stupid nature. It was my stupid age. It was my mother. I couldn't be normal and average like other girls, and have gone shopping before- I had to be an outsider in everything. I would have to apologize- I felt-

"It's fine, you aren't the first. You should have seen the look on Edward's face. We were out one day, and when I told him I liked the fact he had this cute little freckle just above his- yes, well, you get the idea. But it serves him right, with all that mind reading and what not- you aren't dressing. Dress."

I had stopped to listen to her story, and quickly began throwing on the clothes she had requested. It took a lot of tugging to get it on over my bulky cast. Me putting on the jeans was difficult as well, but I heard no impatient sighs from Alice, who was standing outside the dressing room door.

"I'm decent," I murmured, when dressed, and she came in, her lips in a thoughtful pout, as she looked me up and down.

I looked at myself in the mirror that was strategically placed in the room, and frowned. The belt was red. Red belt, yellow shirt...

"You don't like it."

"Oh- no- I mean, yes, it's quite- well, it simply-"

"Spit it out, I won't be mad at you."

"I just... look like that sign we saw outside."

She looked confused. "What sign?"

"The... the giant 'M'."

"McDonalds?"

"I'm unsure what it was."

She stared at me, before a grin broke out on her face. She laughed until her eyes glistened, and I wondered if vampires could cry.

"Oh Grace, that's why we try these things on at the store. Now, get that off, and try on the green will you?" She turned to walk out the door, shaking her head while smiling. "She's a natural."

Natural _what_, I wondered, but I just smiled a little, before _stripping_ off the outfit I had tried on, and doing as she asked, with the green.

_x_

_-x-It's true, I do imbue by blue unto myself, I make it bitter-x-_

_x__  
_

* * *

_Author:  
_

_The song, in this chapter, was "On the Bound".  
_

_-x-Ebony-x-_


	17. If We Kissed

_Disclaimer: Please refer to chapter sixteen, then fifteen, then fourteen, then thirteen, then twelve, then eleven, then ten, then nine, then eight, then seven, then six, then five, then four, then three, then two, in which you will then refer to chapter one.  
_

_Author: I had an epiphany my dear friends, and this is what it was and how it came about- I was reading over this story, and suddenly realized... bloody flip__... I have gone sixteen chapters, and Jasper and Grace haven't even... confronted each other yet! 'What the hell, Ebony?' my mind screamed at me. I realized that I was letting Grace influence me a little too much, and the face that she was DREADING having to speak with Jasper was making me take things so incredibly slow in this story, that it's a wonder anyone is still even reading it. To Grace- shut the hell up- _AND GET ON WITH IT!_  
_

_To Luna-__ hasssssssiissassethhhhhhhah. Writing now, so cheers!  
_

* * *

Chapter Seventeen: If We Kissed

_x_

_-x-Electricity, eye to eye. Hey don't I know you? I can't speak-x-_

_x_

We didn't exit the mall until we had several bags, and my feet were throbbing, along with my arm. Alice had thoughtfully brought along my Vicodin into the building, and gave me a pill that I took. She bought me another water bottle in the process.

Alice carried most of the bags effortlessly, but gave me some to hold as well so it wouldn't be suspicious. I had asked several questions over the course of the day.

Can vampires cry? Why doesn't the sunlight hurt you guys? Do you guys know of any other vampires? Do any of them have powers too? Do you know what it requires to have a power after you are turned into a vampire?

Alice answered them all with the patience of a saint, and I was thankful, and thoughtful, on the long drive back to Forks, which she made surprisingly quickly, by breaking the speed limit the entire way.

When we pulled into the Cullen's massive driveway, her face grew serious, and when she turned off her Porsche, she remained in her seat, looking lost in thought; or that that her just having a vision?

_x_

_-x-The room is spinning out of control, you act as if you didn't notice-x_

_x_

"You should go talk to Jasper."

My good hand wrung nervously in my lap.

"Not to... blatantly refuse what you ask, but I don't know what to.. say," I tried, wincing at how cut up the words seemed. What happened to my flow like speech I had come to know and prefer?

"I'm not going to get mad because you don't want to talk to him," Alice said wryly.

"It's not that I don't want to speak with him, it's that I don't know how to put my thoughts into words properly around him."

"So he flusters you?" Alice asked, sounding amused.

My cheeks felt hot, but I don't think I was perceptibly blushing.

"Go talk to Jasper. By the time you are done, I'll have things ready for your first 'normal teenager' trial, alright?"

_x_

_-x-Stripped my senses on the spot, I've never been this defenseless-x-_

_x_

I nodded miserably, before stepping out of the car, and heading towards the house. The instant I opened the door, I saw Jasper sitting on the couch. The television was on, and he was staring at it, but I don't think he was really listening. The sound was turned so low I could barely hear it.

"Jasper? Could I talk with you, somewhere moderately private?"

He turned, and when he looked at me, my nervousness seemed to wash away.

"I'm sorry, but no where in our house is private, really. It's something we've all come to deal with..."

The room was empty, Alice seemed to have disappeared, so I sat down on the couch next to him, and stared at the television too.

An old war movie was on, Gettysburg. I had seen it once, for educational purposes.

"Were you... there?"

He grinned a little, swiping his blond hair out of his eyes.

"No, I was a vampire by that time. Maybe if I hadn't been changed though," he answered thoughtfully.

"_Get on with it!_" Someone yelled in the back of the house, causing me to jump, and Jasper's pretty eyes to narrow at the screen.

"I'm sorry about that.. I told you, we lack privacy," he said hurriedly.

"No, it's fine," I replied, even though it really kind of bothered me that there were who knows how many people listening to my conversation with the first guy I had ever started crushing on. I took a deep breath and tried to get out exactly what I wanted to say.

_x_

_-x-I can't even make sense of this, you speak and I can't hear a word-x-_

_x_

"I like you," I said flatly. Getting on with it. Even if I sounded like the fourteen year old girl I was, it had to be said.

"I like you, too," he answered, startling me.

"Honestly?" I said, my voice hitting a higher pitch than usual.

"I thought I made it pretty obvious, when I nearly ripped your arm off." His voice was solemn.

I did my best to comfort the vampire that, admittedly, _had_ almost ripped my arm off.

"I don't blame you for that, unless you did it on purpose."

"I might as well have. I knew going to your house that night was tempting fate, but I did anyway. I knew that climbing in through your window was wrong- but did that stop me?" He said, angrily, and I heard the crunch of the remote in his fist, reminding me a little too much of the crunch of bone.

He sighed. "I didn't mean to scare you."

I wasn't sure if he was talking about that night, only a few nights ago, or at this very moment.

"It's alright," I answered honestly.

"No, it isn't. You're probably going to lose that arm, because of me. I've... crippled you."

"You say the same thing that Alice said. That I'm 'probably' going to lose it. Is there another option?"

He nodded, and he turned in his seat so that he was no longer staring at the television, but directly at me. He looked very intense.

"We could make you one of us. It would make all of your faults disappear, and you would keep your arm." He seemed to be watching my reaction very closely.

"Trade my mortality for my arm?" I asked. He turned back away from me, staring at Gettysburg, before answering in a far away voice;

"A stupid option, I know. Sorry I brought it up."

"I don't think it's stupid- it's an option," I answered. Would I really do that? I loved my arm. But did I love it more than my life?

_x_

_-x-What would happen if we kissed? Would your tongue slip past my lips?-x-_

_x_

_You'd live on_, a voice in my head said. _You'd live on forever. With Jasper, and Alice. All of them._

"Some of us don't want to turn you into a vampire," he said casually. I noticed for the first time that the remains of the remote were on the floor next to his feet. "Edward's against it. So is Rosalie."

"What about you? Are you opposed to idea?" I asked quietly.

He glanced at me through the corners of his eyes. "No."

My heart quickened at this admission, and I think I probably blushed at the honesty in his voice.

"Don't be anxious," he said. "_I _can't do it. If we ever did change you, Carlisle would have to do it."

"Why is that?"

"The last time I drank your blood, it took nothing short of extreme guilt, and my family members, to stop me. I could.. hurt you," he finished.

"I trust you," I said, realizing in that instant how true that statement was.

"_I_ don't trust _me_."

"If I did decide to.. become a vampire-" my goodness, how ludicrous would that have sounded to me, only a week or two ago? "-is there a time limit before Carlisle wants to remove my arm?"

"If you decide to stay human, he wants to do it as quickly as possible. He thinks your tissues are already dying, and the longer he leaves your arm alone, the more it could spread, until we have a much bigger problem than a bad wrist."

"Do you think I would have a month?"

He winced. "More like a week."

A week. A week to live, or to have an arm.

"I have a week to choose? How am I suppose to... to make such a decision in a week?" I asked, tearing at my hair with my good hand, while breathing heavily.

A flood of calm rushed over me, and I wasn't as irritated as I might have been with an outside influence directing my emotions.

"I know," he said miserably. "You need to just.. think about the pros and cons."

_Being with Jasper. That was a pro._

"Keeping you arm is a pro," he said encouragingly. "But never seeing your mother again, that's a con."

_x_

_-x-Would you run away? Would you stay? Or would I melt into you?-x-_

_x_

My mother. That was possibly the one string that kept me from saying 'change me' right then and there. What would she do, if I just... disappeared? I thought of her admission to me about my father, and her days as a teenager. She already thought that I had tried to run away once, when actually I was doing nothing of the sort. What would she do when a left again, this time for good?

But I was talking as if I had already made up my mind, and I most certainly hadn't. I would be giving up food. Vinegar. I was giving up my human life.

_But I would be getting Jasper. _

"You don't need to choose now," he said. "You have some time."

"Only a week," I mumbled.

"And that's how many hours of hard thinking?" He asked, and there was some amount of good-natured teasing in his voice.

"Do you really want to know?" I asked, teasing back a little myself _(how new was _that_ concept?)_. He laughed, and turned to stare at me again, with the oddest expression on his face.

Suddenly, Alice was there.

_x_

_-x-Mouth to mouth, lust to lust, spontaneously-combust-x-_

_x_

"Not now, Jasper. Me and Grace have things to do," she said, mumbling something else to him quietly under her breath so I couldn't hear. I tried to respect their privacy. He stood quickly, that odd look leaving his face quickly, and an embarrassed one taking it's place.

"Right, well..." and he left the room, almost a blur.

"Is he alright?" I asked Alice.

"He's a little upset," she replied.

"Was it something I did?"

"No. He's just a little disappointed. He was about to kiss you."

I gasped so suddenly that I began coughing, and Alice actually had to pat my back before I calmed down. I had never felt so ungraceful in all of my life.

"Why'd you stop him?" I blurted out before I could stop myself, effectively making her burst into laughter, which in turn left me feeling so embarrassed that I wished briefly my heart would stop to put me out of my misery.

"Oh, my little Grace, you have much to learn," she said mysteriously, dragging me up from the couch with my good hand.

I just shook my head, whispering as quietly as I could to her, trying to discourage any listening vampires.

"In all seriousness Alice, why...?"

She only laughed again, and I thought I felt a little extra cheerfulness in the air, that hadn't been there before.

_x_

_-x-Would you throw it away, no question. Would I pretend I'm innocent?-x-_

_x_

I was left thinking.. What would have happened if we had kissed? Was it something really bad, like me have a panic attack and do something embarrassing and incredibly ungraceful, or would Jasper have done something that he would have regretted later?

My lips felt hot, though. Like he had kissed them. It would have been my first kiss. With a much older vampire...

I couldn't complain. I let Alice drag me into her bedroom, ignoring her smiling face (she had that look, the look that said she knew too much), and sat down on her bed (unnecessary, but nice) to let her dress me up. We had a deal, after all.

I could just think of Jasper anyway, to let my mind wander.

_x_

_-x-I'm struggling with myself... What would happen if we kissed?__-x-_

_x_

* * *

_Author: I ended it a little lighter, because I'm so glad to finally get everything out there. Phew. By the way, the thirteenth was my birthday. Review as I present to me, please?  
_

_The song was "If We Kissed"._

_-x-Ebony-x-_


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